A community of parents & family members dedicated to dealing with a loved addict, together.
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My 31 year old son is now a recovering pills/heroin addict. He told me recently that his problems with opiates began when he was 17, from being given opiates after having his wisdom teeth out. I found out later that he progressed to heroin in his early 20's, survived a suicide attempt, but was fired from jobs for drug use. His situation became worse last year, when he lost his job, apartment, girlfriend, and everything he owned due to drug use. He was homeless. Because of the wonderful people in the Parents of Addicts forum I found the strength to refuse to let him come home, because he would have used here and not gotten better. He agreed to rehab then, thank God. Once he was done with rehab he wanted to come home again, but I had to say no again because I wanted him to go to a sober house. He did, and has been clean (from hard drugs) for 7 months and is self-supporting, yay!
This forum has been a true lifesaver to me...I couldn't have done what I did without help, and Nar-Anon meetings were too traumatic for me because I couldn't stop crying for some reason :). I have no illusions that my son's addiction is done...it just doesn't work that way, but for today he's doing much better. Thank God for this group...I love everybody here!
I am in my late 50's, work full time in the medical field and the mother of three and grandmother to 5 beautiful girls. My older two are girls, one works in a nursing home and the other is an xray tech in a hospital.
My youngest is my son who is 24 and the reason for many sleepless nights and gray hairs in my head. He has an addiction to pain meds, spent 11 mos. in prison and has been out since 4/30/2011. It wasn't long before he was back using again. He was the sweetest and kindest young man up until the age of 16 and started using the meds. Then is when my life was turned upside down. To my knowledge he has never shot up or used heroin and I pray he never does.
There is so much more to tell but you will find that out as you read my post. I pray that I can be as helpful to others as those on here have been to me. So hard to believe that I came upon this site 2 years ago, shortly after my son went to prison and I am still here.
I am happily married woman and a mother of two daughters. One of which had a attraction to bad boys while in high school, which eventually led to drugs, the other daughter remained stable and grounded.
Before I saw it coming I was taken a board a crazy rapid white water ride, which ended up sucking in my husband as well. The fight for her back involved a youth at risk, a change of schools twice, two rehabs, and a restraining order against the drug dealer, tears, grief and anger, she now has about six months off heroin with the help of Suboxone, she also leads a ground breaking HA group and is working hard in her recovery.
I have about six full months of detachment with the help of MDJunction, and other support groups.
I am presently healing and earning my life back by releasing her and becoming less involved with her addiction. I do believe we can support them while getting clean emotionally but it is always better for me to be aware that my own life jacket is securely fastened.
Eventually the relationship will heal but only if I stop care taking her problems, for I believe that once an addict has found the path back to their own life with recovery, we as loved ones need to find our path back to our life, they are not the same roads.
It is very hard to find your own path with an addict using but some do out of necessity make their break early or a partial break because in all truth, the worry, fear and hope for an addict still keeps you involved emotionally and therefore placing your foot on their path from time to time. For me in all truth,if my daughter was using today I would most likely be chasing her down whatever road in the still of the night, as my hook has always been the fear of losing her forever.
I enjoy walks with my husband, nature, and collecting art I think a sense of humor is necessary in my recovery to become whole as a person, and to release the raging, terrified mother. I have been known to hide in Grapevines with a baseball bat to welcome home the bad dates who kept my daughter out all night, luckily for them, or me, daylight broke and a new found sanity of the day brought me to my senses. We have all been there, and it was not or is not pretty.
I hope if you found your way to this site it will help you as much as it has helped me to find some sanity and maybe be able to laugh at your crazy behavior
My name is Shari and I am a divorced "50 something" mother of two children. I have a daughter who is in her late 20's and she just gave me the gift of my first grandson.
I also have a 25 year old son, who has struggled with addiction off and on for many years. His addiction has affected our entire family, and caused untold heartbreak and grief. Through my MDJ family, I have learned how to handle the grief and have become pretty good about NOT enabling my son's addiction. I have done this with the help of many on MDJ, who have shown me that distancing myself and taking care of myself can be very helpful in my own self preservation and sanity.
I have recently retired from my job and moved across the US to Florida, where I hope to spend my days at the beaches and enjoying all-year summers and the beach combing. I have dolphins and manatee come up in the front of my apartment and they give me unimaginable peace and patience, when I see nature by just looking out the window.
I hope to be a kind, and helpful group leader to all those who are suffering in these groups. These groups can give us our sanity back, and bring us peace in knowing that we are not alone in our suffering and pain. If I can ease the pain of just one member, then I have done my job. Hopefully I can help many, more who come through the door of MDJ looking for help and understanding, from those who have gone before us.
Hugs, and Peace,
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