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beckyw
beckyw
Rank Member
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 06/26/2008 06:13 PM
Last Online 10/31/2010 02:49 PM
Gender: Female
State: Texas
Occupation: getting depression under control!
A little about me: Born & raised here in Tx, have an identical twin sister, used to be a legal secretary, started a weimaraner dog rescue organization back in the early 90's, rescued over 200 of the gray babies, am recently widowed to love of life, have lots of health/mental issues. I loved to hike in woods and go camping. Don't know what I want to do at this time. Hope to "edit" with great details at some point!
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njhoppe gave me a Hug
03/05/2014 06:17 AM
a Hug“When the past calls, let it go to voicemail, believe me, it has nothing new to say.” - Unknown

sweetlilmama gave me a Hug
02/14/2014 11:33 AM
a HugOnce you choose hope, anything's possible...

kildare56 gave me a Hug
02/07/2014 05:31 PM
a HugPanic is the fear that erodes some of the best parts of life. Together, we will beat it and live well.

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My Diary
beckyw
Today is the beginning of a milestone for me. I actually got my money out of that bank & was able to deposit into another bank. My fingers are crossed that there's no screw-up anywhere. Something good has happened!!!

Well, that was a while ago ... today 8/7/08 ... I'm so incredibly confused with what to do with my life. I sometimes am so lonely for my Michael that I just want to die & be laid to rest next to him ... but then unless my death came "naturally" I would hurt so many people. I do have a responsibility for a life ... my sweet darling ... champion of agility ... Niki. She's already lost her original owner due to a horrible disease. Her breeder called me to see if I were interested last year because Niki was used to be the only dog ... she loves all other dogs & people ... she just wouldn't be happy in her breeder's household full of boarders & other weims, etc. Niki will be 13 this month ... a milestone (sorta) for a big dog. She's the love of my life ... she makes me laugh & makes me get out of the house & shows me love. I miss my husband so much ... I don't know what the rest of my life is supposed to be ... who am I?? ... I want Mike back. But ... thru it all ... I take one second, moment, hour & day at a time. I am sometimes amazed at how GOOD I feel in the mornings when I walk Niki (she just came to find me ... she was sound asleep) ... no one understands how the love of this dog has kept me alive. I've lost my two boy weims within the last 6 years ... I don't feel Michael in the house ... but I feel either Logan or Jake giving me a nudge on the butt. I see Michael in my dreams... sometimes. I'm not quite understanding that after 25 years together that he wouldn't be more visible to me. Oh well ... he probably knows what a scardy cat I am . I am that ... on well ... just feels good to vent ... my twin is already horrified for me & my stepfamily is old and sick ... I just need to be thankful for what I have.

TitleDateViewsComments
Intensive Outpatient Psychiatric... 08/23/2008  215 0
8/8/08 08/08/2008  188 0
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