honestguy
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| Hits | 407 |
| Online Status | OFFLINE |
| Member Since | 04/20/2008 19:41:25 |
| Last Online | 05/13/2008 03:43:03 |
| Last Updated | 04/29/2008 16:26:38 |
| Rank | Member |
My Ribbon
| Ribbon | Date | Why I wear this ribbon | |
 | Green Ribbon | 04/29/2008 | i wear this ribbon for all the people like me fighting to learn about bi-polar.. stay strong |
General
| Gender: | Male |
| Website: | http://www.cancer-vcrc.org |
| Birthdate: | 09/25/1978 |
| City: | central cali |
| State: | California |
| Occupation: | jack of all trades - except myself |
| A little about me: | im male diagnosed bi-polar/major depression. i was diagnosed in 1995 when i stayed at loma linda behavioral center. ive been to 3 hospitals for suicide in 15 yrs, all of them held me for 10+ days which i remember as being the best help ever. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ problems i currently have shy,anti-social,depressed,suicidal thoughts weekly,alot of anger at myself,scared of the world,i feel like im 13 sometimes,cant stay still long, always shaking legs,on no bp meds besides medical marijuana & norco for back pain,cant sleep,racing thoughts 24/7,rapid cycling,worry way to much,stressed 24/7,migraine headaches,bulging disks in back,klinefelter syndrome(which means i cant have kids),full dentures,ssi,feeling of being alone,to honest,help others before myself,internet addiction,no patience,get bored easy,wish i could disappear +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ my father is fighting prostate cancer, my brother has Spinal Muscular Atrophy, my sister is a cancer survivor, my mom is the most loving mom but she dont know how to help me. i live with my alcoholic uncle who drinks like a fish, my mom & dad divorced when i was 3, both my mom & older brother live with weight problems, i wish i knew how to help them, they suffer from it. i have 1 older brother who is married and doing great, he adopted the cutest baby ever, both my parents are recovering alcoholics 20+ yrs sober,my mom & brother live in Washington, my father & his new wife and my step sis & step brother live in Victoria b.c., that alone makes everything harder, my step bro has Spinal Muscular Atrophy and has been in a wheelchair since birth and i cant even be there to watch him grow b/c my fathers wife dont like me, my dad is well off, my mom is poor trying to get ssi, i have lived both lives, the money one where u get most of what u want and now the one were im on my own and have to make everything for myself. my dad hasnt called me in over a yr. he is always busy helping my brother i guess. he is a psychologist & thinks i dont have any problems, he says im just slow and ill grow out of it... *denile* :) anyways thats a little about me, also most people would think this dont matter but i was bullied in school and still get bullied to this day, bullying also is a big killer.. people who bully others should be put on an island so they can bully each other, i dropped out of school at age 14 due to being bullied. i feel for those kids who shoot up there schools. i feel there pain... dont ever bully people,i get used alot b/c im weak, i have a hard time telling people my true feelings, scared of being put down or beat up, so i take it all in been single since 2003 i hate my life & myself. i wanna be normal i wish i could give my legs and heart to my brother so he could live a full happy life but i cant, i suffer 24/7 and i can function mostly like normal yet he is 18 in a wheelchair and happier then ive ever known.. how can he be happy with way more problems then i will ever even know and i cant be happy with no problems besides my own fk'n head... sorry but thats the truth... the head kills ones soul, thinking kills..... nice to meet u all, ive met some wonderful people here, i wish i knew of this site yrs ago, whenever i wanna die i think of my brother with sma, thats why i am not dead yet.. no one knows but i live for him.... i need to learn how to live for me.....when im happy i enjoy, yahoo pool, poker stars, laughter, helping others, long walks, long drives, mountains, oceans, music, animals, and just being alone |
My Hugs
My Support Groups
honestguy is a member of the following Support Groups:
| Group | Member Since |
| Anger Management Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Anxiety Disorders Support Group | 21 April 2008 |
| Back Pain Support Group | 20 April 2008 |
| Bipolar Support Group | 21 April 2008 |
| Bipolar Type II Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Depression Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Dual Diagnosis Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Fibromyalgia Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Marijuana Addiction Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Shyness Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Smoking (Nicotine) Addiction Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Social Anxiety Disorder Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Stress Management Support Group | 23 April 2008 |
| Testicular Cancer Support Group | 24 April 2008 |
My Diary
| Diary Description: | i dont write much sometimes & sometimes i do and i wonder if i will get replies, replies are good. they help me feel that people care. its amazing what caring does for people.. thanks for reading | ||
| Diary Statistics: | Total entries: 33 | Total comments: 58 | Total combined hits: 1722 |
| – Monday, May 12 2008 – | |
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everything ok
hi everyone i been keeping busy not had time to come here in awhile, keeping busy is good sometimes i hope everyone is doing fine :)
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3 42
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| – Saturday, May 03 2008 – | |
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prayer
really quick prayer for my brother father if only i could see my father and brother & be next to them but i cant.. not only i cant but im not all...
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2 57
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hmmmm
well ive been feeling like i dont have nothing to write b/c i got over being depressed but i had a talk with my father today which im depressed now bu...
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0 51
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| – Thursday, May 01 2008 – | |
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beautiful day
today is a beautiful day in cali about 78 degree's suns shining and its payday :D hope your all doing great i hope to find some time late tonight ...
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3 59
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| – Wednesday, April 30 2008 – | |
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frustration
do alot of bi-polar people get frustrated easy like me so easy im so tired of it i wish i had pathience sweet dreams
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2 67
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| – Tuesday, April 29 2008 – | |
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stuck in a rut
this place when i joined was a place i could speak my mind but after the problems ive had in 2 days all b/c i use medical pot and someone has a hissy ...
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2 92
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blame
people blaming me still for there own problems this is bi-polar i try so hard to forgive people who dont give a crap but it only back fires this perso...
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2 69
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stuff i enjoy
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0 42
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sleep problems
i dunno if i posted about this yet but it is a problem i often lay in bed for 2-3 hours before i can actually fall a sleep sometimes i take xanax whic...
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2 46
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sweet dreams
hopefully tomarrow will be a better day for us all even though today was a good one :) take care and sleep well to whoever cares
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0 46
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Read honestguy's Diary
My Forum Posts
| Recent Forum Posts | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Date | Subject | Category | Hits |
| 30 April 2008 | Happy 5th Anniversary Pixe! | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 92 |
| 30 April 2008 | Opinions | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 9670 |
| 29 April 2008 | Anyone Awake, April 29th, no topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 393 |
| 29 April 2008 | Anyone Awake, April 29th, no topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 393 |
| 29 April 2008 | Anyone Awake, April 29th, no topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 393 |
| 29 April 2008 | Anyone Awake, April 29th, no topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 393 |
| 29 April 2008 | Anyone Awake, April 29th, no topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 393 |
| 29 April 2008 | Harassment Sorry For the foul Language, IM HOT!!!! | General & Support | 289 |
| 29 April 2008 | Opinions | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 9670 |
| 29 April 2008 | Watch movies for free! | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 150 |
My Friends
My Articles
No published articles.
My Doctors
| No doctors added. |
My Reviews
| No posted reviews. |
