er44
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| Rank | Member |
| Online Status | OFFLINE |
| Member Since | 09/16/2011 10:37 AM |
| Last Online | 03/22/2013 02:07 PM |
| Gender: | Female |
| City: | D.C. |
| Occupation: | R.N. |
| A little about me: | I am a 44 year old married women with adult step children. I have a BA in Sociology and a Nursing Degree. I am not working and have not been working since 2001 was diagnosed as bipolar in 2001 after I went to see a shrink bc I was having a really bad bad depression. This was my first experience seeing a shrink, so I didnt know what to expect. I was prescribed prozac and after that all hell broke loose. I became totally manic. That episode lasted off and on for a year. I didnt think I was bipolar-I just thought I had an allergic or bad reaction to prozac. So I continued to see the psychiatrist and he prescribed many meds and I didnt take them as prescribed. I didnt like the way they made me feel and I didnt believe I was bipolar.I was in denial until aboRut a year ago..I just couldnt accept the disease. I thought that it was just me-that I was messing up or doing something wrong-I totally blamed everything on the prozac for years. I have been rapid cycling for the last several years with several months of remisssion in between the cycles. I have finally accepted my disease and it has made it somewhat better-but not as much as I had hoped.I think I am learning how to cope with it a little better.I'm still hard on myself because I just feel so crazy sometimes.. Anyway, I was never compliant with my meds because I was in denial. I am totally compliant now and I have noticed a slight improvement-nothing huge though. I miss my past life so much. I went to see a shrink for depression-he put me on prozac and all hell broke loose. I havent been the same since. As a child, I had ADHD. THey didnt call it that back then-they said I was hyper-active and was having a hard time staying focused and couldnt pay attention. My shrink told me that for many, childhood adhd is a precurser to bipolar. I still have ADD and its really hard to deal with too-I got a double whammy. In highschool, I started self medicating with alcohol. I drank steadily for many years-it didnt help anything. I am a recovering alcoholic. I dont drink anymore. I did for a while after my diagnosis and alcohol doesnt play well with the meds. When I am in an episode I tend to isolate even during the manic times-that is because I suffer from mixed episodes mostly. Thats a combo of depression and mania. I gotta say its really rough. The anxiety is through the roof-I think having mixed episodes goes hand with rapid cycling. I am very happy I found this site. I feel a little better now than I did a few days ago when I joined.I think this site will really help me. It's much better than talking to a psychiatrist IMO. |
My Hugs
 | Happiest Father's Day to all our dads. Here are some quotes for you. :) "I want my son to wear a helmet 24 hours a day." ~Will Arnett "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." ~Mark Twain "It is admirable for a father to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping." ~John Sinor (((BIG BEAR HUGS))) -Sarah |
| "If you keep sending away every person who challenges you, you'll never GROW. Some people are in your life to sharpen you." ~ Mandy Hale |
| Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. – Christopher Reeve |
Give er44...
My Diary
Feeling angry and hopeless
Dear diary, I feel like crap. I'm sick of therapy. I hate being bipolar and I spent my birthday in the hospital. I feel hopeless and totally misunderstood but I am grateful for all of you who hug me and give me kind and inspirational words. I don't feel well and I'm in a mixed episode and I broke my ribs. I wish my meds were working right now
Dear diary, I feel like crap. I'm sick of therapy. I hate being bipolar and I spent my birthday in the hospital. I feel hopeless and totally misunderstood but I am grateful for all of you who hug me and give me kind and inspirational words. I don't feel well and I'm in a mixed episode and I broke my ribs. I wish my meds were working right now
| Title | Date | Views | Comments |
| I feel so angry. | 06/18/2012 | 122 | 1 |
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My Recent Posts
| Seroquel Withdrawal | 07/18/2012 | ||
| Seroquel Withdrawal | 07/03/2012 | ||
| Feeling sorry for myself | 06/18/2012 | ||
| Neew type of Rapid Cycling | 04/29/2012 | ||
| The "real" me??? | 04/22/2012 | ||
| My mood stabilizer is making m... | 04/22/2012 | ||
| Does 'world look different' du... | 03/20/2012 | ||
| Generic Geodon | 03/20/2012 | ||
| Stopping med.s | 03/20/2012 | ||
| Stopping med.s | 03/18/2012 | ||
| What is wrong with me now? | 03/17/2012 | ||
| What is wrong with me now? | 03/17/2012 | ||
| Stopping med.s | 03/17/2012 | ||
| Cogentin | 02/15/2012 | ||
| Spouse Troubles | 01/18/2012 | ||
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