zinnia
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| Hits | 1635 |
| Online Status | OFFLINE |
| Member Since | 02/17/2008 23:26:34 |
| Last Online | 09/06/2008 17:32:29 |
| Last Updated | 08/11/2008 13:44:07 |
| Rank | Group Leader |
General
| Gender: | Female |
| State: | Michigan |
| Occupation: | attorney |
| A little about me: | i was diagnosed eight years ago as bipolar. i have been on and off meds ever since. i finally made a commitment in january of this year to get back on the meds and admit to myself that i was bipolar and would always need them. since that time, i have come a long way towards accepting myself for who i am. i am a 40 year old single mother of two little boys, 7 and 10. they are the greatest. |
My Hugs
My Support Groups
zinnia is a member of the following Support Groups:
| Group | Member Since |
| Bipolar Support Group (Group Leader) | 18 February 2008 |
My Diary
| Diary Description: | I always keep a journal but I want to do this here for a while as this site has brought me so much comfort. I have never talked about myself to anyone but doctors and immediate family. To connect like I have here has been a tremendous gift to me, and I want to record the thoughts and ideas I am having as a result of that gift. There are times when I think if I could just be forgiven for whatever I've done wrong, this would all go away. I often wonder what I've done. For the first time in my life, i feel like i'm ready to accept who i am. i truly can see that a lot of my anxiety comes from trying to be someone else-someone i'm not capable of being. it seems like it might be ok to just accept and understand that not being able to do things the way everyone else does doesn't mean i'm a bad person-not good enough or strong enough. it doesn't mean i did something horrible that i don't know about and that i'm not forgiven for it and if i could just figure it out and say sorry, this would stop. it means that i'm not like other people. it means that the things that are hard for me are hard because of the bp-not because i'm bad. i think it means that i need to accept this and try to do things the way i am capable of doing them and do things the best i can do them without holding myself up to a standard that is someone else's idea of who i should be. just the thought of being able to accept that makes me feel more free than i've ever felt. | ||
| Diary Statistics: | Total entries: 18 | Total comments: 14 | Total combined hits: 1086 |
| – Tuesday, August 12 2008 – | |
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crashing a bit
i'm so worn out from all that happened last week. i am not even angry, just hurt and worn out. it felt like everything came down on me...
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4 74
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| – Saturday, July 26 2008 – | |
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scared of my meds
i'm really scared about my meds right now. i've been getting terrible headaches, i think from the ritalin, though it's also listed a...
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3 35
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| – Sunday, June 22 2008 – | |
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thinking it through
i need to try to think through what is happening to me right now. i'm feeling bad. i'm going from anxious to depressed really quic...
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2 46
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| – Monday, June 16 2008 – | |
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not sure if the adderall is helping
i have now started taking double my normal dose of adderall to try to combat the problem i'm having with reading and writing. i do ok typing...
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1 62
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| – Tuesday, June 03 2008 – | |
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reading and writing
althought i still seem to be capable of writing on the computer, i can barely write by hand at all right now. reading even a magazine is impossi...
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1 64
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| – Sunday, March 16 2008 – | |
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just not sleeping
i'm going for days at a time (s/t 5/week) without sleeping a wink. it pisses me off because everything else about these meds feels worlds be...
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0 82
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| – Wednesday, March 12 2008 – | |
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so busy and afraid-but only kind of
My meds are obviously helping me, because what i'm having to do right now would normally send me spinning. I haven't thought about killi...
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1 91
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| – Monday, March 10 2008 – | |
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the office
So, i have to go in to what will not be my office much longer today. I'm meeting a prospective client. she called this morning and i w...
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1 71
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| – Saturday, March 08 2008 – | |
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new meds-yay!!
Sofar, i like my new meds. The abilify seems to be slowing down all the sound tracks and layers in my head, although it is making me a wee bit s...
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0 68
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| – Thursday, March 06 2008 – | |
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Scary night...
i had a scary night last night. Since my kids are ok since they were with my folks, i'm feeling most badly about worrying everyone on the fo...
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0 66
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Read zinnia's Diary
My Forum Posts
| Recent Forum Posts | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Date | Subject | Category | Hits |
| 06 September 2008 | Rapid Cycling? Mixed Episodes? | Introductions & Personal Stories | 272 |
| 06 September 2008 | Anyone Awake, Sept 6, no topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 415 |
| 05 September 2008 | bipolar paranoia | General & Support | 739 |
| 05 September 2008 | bipolar paranoia | General & Support | 739 |
| 05 September 2008 | Opinions | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 13608 |
| 05 September 2008 | a SECRET my pdoc shared with me | Medicine & Treatments | 161 |
| 05 September 2008 | Opinions | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 13608 |
| 05 September 2008 | Anyone Awake September 5th, No topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 452 |
| 05 September 2008 | New to group | General & Support | 90 |
| 05 September 2008 | Anyone Awake September 5th, No topic discussion | Lounge - Off topic discussions | 452 |
My Friends
My Articles
No published articles.
My Doctors
| No doctors added. |
My Reviews
| No posted reviews. |
