GothicxTragedy
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| Rank | Member |
| Online Status | OFFLINE |
| Member Since | 02/22/2011 01:41 PM |
| Last Online | 10/25/2012 10:14 PM |
| Gender: | Female |
| Birthdate: | 04/04/1987 |
| State: | Kentucky |
| Website: | www.facebook.com/GothicXTragedy |
| A little about me: | My life seems to be a constant blur of tragic events. Where to begin? I grew up in a house hold where my parents constantly fought. My mom is a hoarder and we lived in filth. She left me with baby sitters that beat me, starved me and tried to drown me in the bath tub. Then later she sent me to another baby sitter and I was molested by a boy there and he beat me up. I didn't talk much. I became incest. Then I got molested by my uncle and when I told my mom she never believed me and kept taking me down there. I had verbally abusive friends and boyfriends. My dad always belittled me about my weight and it eventually drove me to bulimia and anorexia for 5 or 6 years and I lost 116 lbs. Got into a relationship where I was raped but I wouldn't leave because I loved him and he was the first person I told about my past and being incest and he used it against me. Then after we broke up I just stopped eating altogether and was suicidal for a long time. I was going to kill myself when I got to my goal weight so that I would be finally perfect. I was only 5 lbs away. Then I gained like 20 lbs and my dad started calling me fat and said I need to go back to what I was doing which was bulimia. Then to rebel I gained nearly 200 lbs. He told me he would rather me be bulimic then be fat and that is when I started cutting again after 7 years of being cut free. I moved in with my grandma and started dating my brother's best friend. He was the first guy I had been with since the rape and I jumped into that relationship and we was talking about kids like the first week. It's ridiculous I know. We barely spoke and was together 24/7 Then I unknowingly got pregnant and I was taking antidepressants and anxiety pills. My boy friend quit his job because he thought in his head that he had cancer. I was so stressed out that he was going to die. I was so depressed. And he was cheating on me with my underage niece and they were all over each other and he barely touched me. It hurt me so bad. Then I had a miscarriage. 3 years later I found out that he gave me an std and that is what killed our baby. I had blamed myself the whole time because I was 2 months pregnant and didn't know. It does bring some comfort knowing what caused me to lose the baby. I moved back with my mom and dad but I am hoping to someday have my own place and try to start my life over. |
My Awareness Ribbons
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"To support people with eating disorders. I have struggled with it my whole life and I just want others to know that you are not alone." |
"Survivor of sexual abuse." |
"To support people with mental illness." |
"I suffer from intense headaches." |
"I am a cutter." |
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"Sleep disorder." |
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| Awareness Ribbons | ||||
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My Hugs
 | Hay guys you got children. Then Happy Fathers Day too you. May your day be filled smiles, love,joy, and happiness. ( Hope To Cope ) Scott |
| You are special and deserve to be treated as such. Never allow anyone to tell you any different. For if they do, then they do not deserve to know you, much less have the right to call you a friend. |
| Hey everyone, how are things going? I haven't heard from many of you in a while, I hope that means things are going well. Sunny |
Give GothicxTragedy...
My Diary
No Perfect Pill
It seems like I have tried hundreds of pills to try to find the right one to make me feel like myself again. To rid me of my depression and anxiety but nothing seems to help. They always make me feel worse than I already do if that is possible. I guess I finally realized that there is no perfect pill. A pill to make me happy. I have to find that on my own. There is no pill to make me forget what happened to me and what I have done. There is no pill to make my family normal and less disfunctional. I guess I have to find my own way to deal with my life.
It seems like I have tried hundreds of pills to try to find the right one to make me feel like myself again. To rid me of my depression and anxiety but nothing seems to help. They always make me feel worse than I already do if that is possible. I guess I finally realized that there is no perfect pill. A pill to make me happy. I have to find that on my own. There is no pill to make me forget what happened to me and what I have done. There is no pill to make my family normal and less disfunctional. I guess I have to find my own way to deal with my life.
| Title | Date | Views | Comments |
| I Hurt Myself Because You Can't Anymore | 10/27/2011 | 134 | 0 |
My Health Topics Contributions
I started discussions in the following health topics:
BED, bingeing, Incest Survivors, Miscarriage, personal story, Self Harm.
BED, bingeing, Incest Survivors, Miscarriage, personal story, Self Harm.
My Photos
GothicxTragedy's photos are private
My Support Groups
Agoraphobia Support Group
Binge Eating Disorder Support Group
Bisexuality Support Group
Borderline Personality Support Group
Child Abuse Survivors Support Group
Depression Support Group
Emotional Abuse Support Group
Incest Survivor Support Group
Miscarriage Support Group
Obesity Support Group
Panic Attacks Support Group
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Support Group
Self-Injury Support Group
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Social Anxiety Disorder Support Group
Binge Eating Disorder Support Group
Bisexuality Support Group
Borderline Personality Support Group
Child Abuse Survivors Support Group
Depression Support Group
Emotional Abuse Support Group
Incest Survivor Support Group
Miscarriage Support Group
Obesity Support Group
Panic Attacks Support Group
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Support Group
Self-Injury Support Group
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Social Anxiety Disorder Support Group
My Friends
My Recent Posts
| Just diagnosed | 03/21/2012 | ||
| Just diagnosed | 03/14/2012 | ||
| New to this forum, here is my ... | 03/13/2012 | ||
| Just diagnosed | 03/13/2012 | ||
| Not sure how to feel | 03/08/2012 | ||
| Not sure how to feel | 03/08/2012 | ||
| Not sure how to feel | 03/08/2012 | ||
| Unsure | 03/07/2012 | ||
| I have a question | 03/07/2012 | ||
| Hey everybody | 03/07/2012 | ||
| I'm a newbie. | 03/07/2012 | ||
| Not sure how to feel | 03/07/2012 | ||
| Do any of you do this? | 11/01/2011 | ||
| Do any of you do this? | 10/29/2011 | ||
| pregnant and terrified | 10/06/2011 | ||
My Articles
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