sarahtroy gave me a Hug 05/11/2013 11:18 AM
	"If you keep sending away every person who challenges you, you'll never GROW. Some people are in your life to sharpen you." ~ Mandy Hale
hypnagogic gave me a Hug 05/10/2013 05:09 AM
	Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. – Christopher Reeve
hypnagogic gave me a Hug 04/19/2013 11:55 AM
	The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror. - Oscar Wilde

a Hug a Cheer Up a Happy for You a Prayer a Salute a Thumbs Down Your message:

Journey
Just needing to write something somewhere. I feel like total shit. I cant concentrate or focus on anything. After all the pain I have caused and all of the stupid stuff I have done, I cannpt get over the feeling of guilt and shame. I was trying to help yesterday open some windows and I put my hand slightly thru one on accident. Wife wasn't mad at me but commented on the fact that this is just another expense and things just keep adding up. Well I take that as I am just a total fuck up. Only thing I have going right now is that I have my kids with me for another week but my oldest girl seems to have a little bit of a lying problem or over embelishment problem and that is making matters worse with my wife. I don't know what to do and when we talk to her about it (daughter) she cries and says that she isn't lying. Her latest issue is she thinks she is getting boobs now and she is 9 1/2. My wife wants no part of it and thinks that this is bullshit. I don't know what to do or say or think even. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't...who am I to say? I am trying to staty strong for me, for them and for my wife. I really am a good person and 99% of the time, I mean well. She isn't wearing her wedding ring and I can't blame her...I wouldn't wanna be wearing something daily that reminds her of being with a total fuck up. Although I have made many markedly drastic improvements, I still have a long way to go and my eye is on that prize. I can and will be the person she expects me to be...and the person I expect to be. Lately I have just almost said "fuck it" and went about my daily business. I have stopped trying so damn hard and take 1 minute at a time. I have stopped trying so hard to please everyone else and forget about me and what I need to do about me. I have basically just shrugged my shoulders and move. I have said what I was going to do in not talking to anyone, other than work or when I have to. No other bullshit conversations or anything. I am usually pretty optimistic but since I cannot concentrate or focus...I know nothing.

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