NRG9
 |
| Rank | New Member |
| Online Status | OFFLINE |
| Member Since | 03/19/2010 08:30 PM |
| Last Online | 10/19/2011 07:51 AM |
| Gender: | Female |
| City: | San Diego |
| State: | California |
| A little about me: | I'm a 39y old nurse, married w/ 2 toddlers. Coming here for support on what I believe is the biggest and darkest secret I hold. I've been dealing secretly w/bulimia since about 18yr old. Never dreamed it would be here still at almost 40! I, like most, am angry, embarassed, confused and frustrated as to why bulimia haunts me daily. I'm scared about my fragile teeth, my compulsion to do this and how long before my kids find out...but not enuf to stop..sick. |
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Day 1- thrilled I found a place to share, since I have never,ever been able to share this bulimia nightmare w/ anyone. Even now I think of how to 'erase' any evidence on the computer search so my husband can't see. My teeth hurt. I've purged twice today. On the way home from work, I just wanted that cherry desert I made yesterday. I've been doing this for so long that I can purge 'quietly' and without any 'help' but pushing my abs. Sick. I also find that as soon as I eat almost anything, I think of purging. Not just after a 'forbidden' food. Could this be the start of more bulimic/ anorexia tendencies? I must say I love when I can eat minimally all day. My poor teeth. My poor esophagus. Nothing, however, seems to be important enuf to stop what feels like a terrible compulsion/ addiction...it's sad, it's confusing and very frustrating. Most of all I feel weak and embarassed.
Day 1- thrilled I found a place to share, since I have never,ever been able to share this bulimia nightmare w/ anyone. Even now I think of how to 'erase' any evidence on the computer search so my husband can't see. My teeth hurt. I've purged twice today. On the way home from work, I just wanted that cherry desert I made yesterday. I've been doing this for so long that I can purge 'quietly' and without any 'help' but pushing my abs. Sick. I also find that as soon as I eat almost anything, I think of purging. Not just after a 'forbidden' food. Could this be the start of more bulimic/ anorexia tendencies? I must say I love when I can eat minimally all day. My poor teeth. My poor esophagus. Nothing, however, seems to be important enuf to stop what feels like a terrible compulsion/ addiction...it's sad, it's confusing and very frustrating. Most of all I feel weak and embarassed.
| Title | Date | Views | Comments |
| back to.... | 04/27/2010 | 76 | 0 |
| struggle | 04/10/2010 | 126 | 0 |
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