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1magicman"Before i found MDJ i was in the deepest darkest part of my life after my abduction. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted that sense of being a normal person.Finding MDJ and the people with in it has steered me down the correct path into the light of hope. The feeling of hope that i was not alone,the feeling of hope of understanding,and the feeling of hope to move on. I never give up hope." (1magicman)

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angiepangie39
angiepangie39
Rank Member
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 02/17/2010 09:25 PM
Last Online 10/15/2010 09:20 PM
Website: Lilbabyangie@comcast.net
A little about me: Hi there, I am a 41 year old woman with two grown children Willie and Mandy. I have three dogs all herding dogs that I adore. I am an animal lover! I live in Oregon right outside Portland. I come from an Italian family and it is pretty big and we all live in close proximity. My Mother, Brother, Daughter and I are the only family members who suffer from so many illnesses. Like myself my brother also has Juvenile Diabetes and we all have Fibromyalgia and or arthritis. I also have a brain tumor and severe neuropathy and IBS to name a few issues. The list is long. I have been spiraling downward for a few years but have been at an all time low since November of 2009. I have become bedridden and my world has shrunk quickly. My will to live and get well is huge but I admit that I also pray many times that I could just go to sleep and not wake from the pain. I have guilt over my children losing a mom that can function and not become a burden. It kills me to see them scared to even check in on me. I am married but not very happily to be honest. At this point it is an arrangement as I am just too ill to do anything about it and have no energy if I could. It is sad to be so young and in such a loveless relationship. I am working on loving myself and have come a long ways. I am close to my children and my mother and brother. Before I became this ill I enjoyed camping and anything outdoors. I love wildlife and rode a motorcycle. I love laying in the sun and being in the water. I love to shop and antique and garage sale. I love to cook!! I love to bake!! I love decorating my home and working in the yard. I used to walk a couple times a day with my dogs and throw balls with the chuckit. I volunteered at the local dog shelter and at my childrens old Catholic schools. I used to sell furniture and was very successful at it. I loved it! Before that I was a hairdresser and cosmetologist. I always loved the girlie things in life and big hair too!!! I think the beach and the desert are both beautiful. I wish I lived in the desert though. Always have wished that. I hate the rain and cold here in Oregon. The gray sky is overwhelming to me and my pain is worse in it. My favorite colors are yellow purple and turquoise. I love tulips and daffodil's. I love the smell of vanilla and the flavor. I adore bubble baths and take two to three a day now to get warm from the neuropathy and to ease the sore muscles. I have a few good friends most from grade school or many years now and feel lucky to have that however they do not understand the pain issues. How can they. I feel isolated much of the time as I am not able to get out and have fun with friends and family any longer. I am hopeful top get better and to be able to live life again. I make a good friend and listener as well. I am here for anyone who need me! We should not have to suffer in silence!!!!!
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 		"Juvenile diabetes and its many complications"
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Working toward PEACE
Today was a painful day. Lots of electric shooters all over my body and head. Had a fight with Greg and really felt the connection between stress and my pain not to mention a raise in my blood sugars. Insurance denied the new prescription for me CYMBALTA? So now I have to call and fight them on this on Monday. More stress. I saw Mandy today and it was good to spend time with her. She played the guitar for me and sang to me. I loved it! I needed it. Hope to sleep tonight! Going to try now.
TitleDateViewsComments
Alone 09/01/2010  240 1
Lonely and missing my old body! 08/01/2010  256 1
Watching life pass by outside my bedroom window 07/01/2010  252 1
Watching life pass by outside my bedroom window 07/01/2010  193 2
another low blood sugar 06/24/2010  186 1
new med Trileptal 06/23/2010  248 0
feeling trapped in my body 06/21/2010  542 2
vitamin b12 shot at home 06/18/2010  172 0
A day off from doctors appointments 06/16/2010  203 0
exhausting day today 06/15/2010  177 0
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