Vaginal Health Online Support Group

Hey everyone, I'm 22 years old. I am new to the group. I think I'm struggling with Vaginismus. I at least know I'm struggling somehow.

I have been married for nearly 6 months. My wedding night was the first night I had sex consenually. So I'm not very experienced. I have a very healthy, and enjoyable sex life. I enjoy sex. I'm just having some pain issues where my muscles tighten up and it can be painful. So I want to know if these things I am experiencing is normal or is it a result of something else...

I was raped a year ago. I was raped multiple times/ways but it mostly consisted of violent digital (finger) rape.

One of my pain issues is when I initially have sex. When my husband first enters me it's very very painful. My muscles are clenched so tight it feels like I'm a virgin again. Also I have to fight my body from pushing him off. Initially my body is trying to keep my legs closed and keep him off. I have to fight against my body. He has to go very slow and gentle for about 60 seconds before my muscles relax enough to continue on. Then I am fine.

Something else that doesn't make sense to me is I can only have regular him on top sex. I've tried on top, and I clench. When he tried to use his fingers I clench. How is that I can have regular sex, but fingers hurt so badly? I can't let him use fingers at all. I clench too tight and it is very painful.

I have the same issue with the gynocologist. I'm dying the entire pap smear in pain.

So is there anything that can be done about this??? I assume it's related to my attack, but I was a virgin and had nothing "in there" prior, so I don't know. Can anyone help?

First of all, welcome to the group! I am very proud of you for looking for help.

I have no experience with rape (and I am so sorry that you do) but it does sound like your symptoms are related to that experience. Have you had any counseling?

You are doing fantastic, though, in that you are actually having sex with your husband... and that you keep doing it.

I have had a difficult time when my husband uses his fingers too. Sometimes I just say "not now". He's very patient...and I'm sure your husband is too and will understand. You may just need more time to heal-emotionally and physically. Same with

different positions. Give yourself more time.

If you will look through the past posts on this site you will find some excerpts from a book called "Completely Overcome Vaginismus" by Mark and Lisa Carter. Go to the Forums tab, click on General and Support. Then check out "Where do I begin?", "Some Info" and "Self Help".

Let me know if you have ANY questions. I am sort of out-of-town this week so it may be a few days before I respond. Also, there's only one other really active member in this support group and she's having a baby (maybe as we speak!) so please don't be discouraged if you don't hear from anyone else. All posts are important as other women will come in and view them and learn from them!! So, YOU and your circumstances are why I am here!

Take care, have a beautiful day! We'll get through this together!!

Faith, Group Leader

hi katie (hope i've spelled your name right) i'm really sorry that you have had and are having these horrible experiences. as someone who has struggled with vaginismus myself, i don't think what you are explaining is vaginismus in it's purest form as you can indeed have intercourse after some gentle prsuasion of your vagina, but i would definitely recommend some counselling around these issues for both you and your partner. if you want to talk to me more about my situation and how i've dealt with it please pm me and we can exchange email addresses if you wish. keep the head up and there is most certainly a light at the end of the tunnel.

Just to clarify, there are various degrees of vaginismus, just as there are various degrees of cancer. With lots of work a woman with vaginismus can have intercourse.