Urinary Incontinence Support Group

Oooooooooo... I am SO frustrated! EVERY time I walk thru my front door, I have to deal with "Pavlov's Bladder"!

I am so bad about taking meds regularly, so this is my own fault, but it doesn't make it any less aggravating! Grrrr... As a result of walking thru my front door -- YET AGAIN -- and wetting myself ALL THE WAY to the restroom, I then remembered to take my Detrol today. Nothing like wet blue jeans to remind me to take my little blue friends!

As much as I hate to admit it, it seems that my incontinence is gradually getting worse. I'm sure my weight is to blame... at least in part. If I would get serious about taking off a few extra pounds, "holding my water" wouldn't be quite as difficult as it seems to have become.

I did find a coupon in the paper for a free sample package of mail-order incontinence products, so I suppose I ought to give it a try. ...NOT that I'm AT ALL happy about this!

Now if my bladder is "trained" to know that I walked thru the front door, why can't I "untrain" it so it could remain relaxed until I got to the restroom?! But, just like Pavlov's dog, my bladder seems to respond to certain stimuli and wet pants are the result!

~ one very frustrated Mary!

Grrr...

Hi Mary and I'm so sorry to read of your frustration and anguish.

I haven't been around for a while, and I hope that things are going well on the whole for you and all the members.

I'm lucky that my surgery has helped me, although my spinal problems are complicating the whole issue.

One good result of my surgery has been that I was forced to come to terms with wearing 'adult nappies' (what is the 'correct' term I don't know!) My surgery left me almost totally incontinent in the first three months or so, and I had no alternative but to use external condom drainage or 'nappies'. I found that the products by Tena called 'Flex' are unobtrusive and reasonably comfortable, and they work very well. I am able to go out now without the fear of an 'accident' that used to be my everyday experience.

I do hope you find an answer to this Mary, and WITHOUT punishing yourself for what really can't be your fault at all.

Best wishes and hugs to all,

Gordon

Good morning, Gordon!

It is so good to see you here today. Well, yet again, I walked into the house this morning and wet blue jeans were the result.

I DID take my Detrol this morning (that makes two days in a row), but I also broke one cardinal rule -- I drank coffee before my morning walk. Now, I KNOW better than to do that, and by doing so, it really was putting those little blue pills to the test!

As I neared my house, I was aware that I did need the restroom, but I was NOT in "distress". I could have comfortably spoke with a neighbor (had I run into one) for any period of time and been content. That is the greatest frustration to me. I was NOT in a panic! There was no "dire need". Why couldn't I comfortably walk to the bathroom in my own home???!

Nope! The moment I walked thru the front door and took off my coat, urine started flowing down my legs. "Oh, this is RIDICULOUS!" I shouted and walked directly to the master bathroom to get cleaned up and changed.

Yet, last night, my husband shouted something downstairs to my eldest son and startled me awake at 1:00am. Since he abruptly woke me, I decided I might as well empty my bladder in hopes of having a more successful "stumble" to the bathroom when I'd wake at 5:00am. Unfortunately, I leaked the whole way to the bathroom at that time -- not a lot, but enough! I was so discouraged. I was hoping that by relieving my bladder at 1:00am I wouldn't leak in the morning when I first got out of bed either. But, noting that my bladder seemed "stressed", I decided to wear a pad to bed so any leak during the morning "bathroom stumble" wouldn't cause too much disruption to my day.

Sure enough, I tumbled out of bed around 5:00am and tripped along to the bathroom leaking all the way! Good thing I had a precautionary pad on!

Well, I LOVE coffee... especially with something sweet to accompany it. So, I had myself a piece of cake and a couple cups of coffee this morning as I got my kids ready for school. After the kids were gone, I used the restroom before I left the house to make sure my bladder was completely empty; however, we all know what happened when I returned home!

The fact that I'm leaking first thing in the morning without a sense of "urgency" (like spasms with OAB or urge incontinence), makes me think that I've now added weight-related "stress" incontinence to my plethora for problems. When I first get out of bed, I can't say I even realize it is happening until I feel the dampness between my legs. I don't feel as if I can tighten a muscle and stop it. It just drizzles out. This is what sometimes happens the week of my monthly cycle. Bloating and swelling put extra pressure on my bladder and that week I know I am prone to leaking. Well, this isn't the week for that, so what's going on?

I have considered doubling up on my Detrol for a couple of days, but I'm a little hesitant to do that because of the possibility that it can add to my mental confusion. I did double up on Detrol when I went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic because I was concerned about the availability of restrooms. That did seem to keep me in good control, but I don't know for sure what it did for my mental state. It is so hard to judge those kinds of things when you are in unfamiliar territory, suffering from lack of sleep, and constantly bombarded with new information/stimuli. Did Detrol play a part in my being overwhelmed by the environment? Or was it simply too much stimuli and lack of sleep for a person already susceptible to confusion due to brain injury?

I suppose since I know my surroundings now and am aware of what COULD occur by doubling up on my meds, I'm reasonably safe in doing it. If I find I'm forgetting things, I can always discontinue the use of them for a while until my life gets back to "normal" (whatever THAT is!). Of course, staying away from caffeine could help, too!

~Mary

Hi Mary,

You're referring to "Key in Lock" syndrome and it is very common among people with urge incontinence issues. My wife even has trouble and with out question is seen running to the bathroom upon returning from some where or another. She doesn't leak but it still hits her.

Have you tried any physical therapy? There are electronic stimulant devices that will help you do Kegel exercises. This should help you regain some control. What I have noticed is that over time our muscles that control our bladder weaken because we rely to heavily on medication or absorbent products (diapers). I assure you that stimulating your muscles will help you develop them to at lease minimize the number of accidents. Most likely though you will still need your little blue pills. I did good for about 3 years, still had to wear some kind of diaper during the day and absolutely at night, but during the day I was able to go to a much thinner and lighter diaper, or even the Tena Men's guard. Unfortunately I fell off the exercise wagon so to speak and have gone back to the heavier type diaper. Due to additional medical issues that have arisen recently I am not sure I will go back to Kegel exercises, but that is for another post.

Also, Mary I hope you are able to find a way to loose some weight. It isn't easy and I wish you the best. I am in that same boat too as since I quit smoking had 2 surgeries, and have been fighting depression I have gained 75#'s in 2 years. Not good for the old heart, nor for controlling my bladder. Recently I started working out though so I am hoping to loose some of this weight and may even join other support groups around here to help me loose weight.

Have a great day everyone!

Mike

Quite honestly, Mike, I stopped doing Kegel exercises back in my 20's. They simply didn't work for me. It was a constant, uphill battle. What I didn't know at the time, of course, was that I had undx'ed hydrocephalus. So, I saw no results, and I was fighting against a medical issue that no amount of exercise was going to correct.

I have considered starting them again, but of course, Kegels are just plain difficult. I've seen that they have devices that you can purchase to help you isolate those muscles, but it is hard for me to allocate money that direction when there are so many other pressing matters. I have found, however, that as I come off of my Detrol, I will still maintain an element of control for awhile, sometimes months. At that time, I try my darnedest to maintain as much control as possible without having to go back on my meds. When things go haywire again -- and they always do! -- I go back to my Detrol.

I do know that loosing weight WILL help, to a degree. I've gained and lost 75-80lbs twice already in the past 20 years. When my weight was down, I suffered less "indignities" and found I had more control simply from having less pressure on my bladder. (I've even pondered the weight loss group here, too. )

~Mary

Mary,

Even when i took my pills i still had days like that. I still had wet spells. If the medication is benefical to you, by all means take it.. but be consistent about it.. and don't rely on your meds as your only solution. Even if meds work, most, if not all folks STILL need some level of protection. When i was on detrol and vesicare, i was still padded..and I'm glad, because it did'nt stop me from wetting in the morning, before i got a chance to take the pills. Yep, the wetting in the morning is all too familar with me.. i don't wet the bed..but in the morning.. geez, id better be wearing a boosted diaper.. or be ready to change QUICK.. or run to the toilet.. thats what i call the morning deluge.. and its pretty much a constant.

Mary, i honestly doubt if you took your medication all the time it would be any different. Many of us have found that med's dont work well in the long run, especially if the incontinence has a neurological basis, and is secondary to a nerve disorder, in your case hydrocephelus, and in my case neuropathy. Because, what the pills are doing is blocking signals to the bladder, making it not contract as much. What it's not doing is boosting the inhibitory signal from the brain saying, ok lets hold things down a bit.. it just calms the bladder, making the spasm less of an issue, but it doesn't stop them altogether. I would NOT recommend doubling up on medication without talking to your doctor.. you could cause confusion, or urinary retention.

I know, Rob, but I'm slow to get on the "pad" band wagon, you know?

~Mary

Mary, of course i understand..you're talkin to a guy who did NOT want to give up his underwear.. I didn't even want to see a doctor in the beginning. I just wanted to use those pads.. I tried everything not to wear the pads.. but they do make life easier.. I can completly understand not wanting to resort to something that resembles a diaper.. I was hesitant to do that.. even when i was leaking somewhat heaviliy.. Took me a while to come around to wearing protection. Because its as if your accepting your condition as it is. Your'e letting go of control. Your admitting that you dont have as much control as you once did. That is a very scary realization and admission..its one reason why im hesitant to stop using the toilet even on the days where i don't make it a whole lot...It's hard to admit loss of control.. you struggle with it, fight it, even though you know in the end it won't help. I can completly understand your hesitaiton to wear pads. But, i think it would be better to wear it than have wet pants.

Mary and all can relate to not wanting to wear protection but a few accident brought me around was pumping gas one day and urge hit wet my pants think goodiness credit card only had to be at pump but quick trip home was required.Ha

Yes, Ron, I've had those days, too! Even this morning, I wasn't sure I was going to make it home. Had to cut my walk short and made a bee line for the house. Better to make a bee line than to leave a pee line! LOL!

I did make it home, but it was close! There have been times that I haven't. I was just thinking today how much better it would have been if I had been prepared.

~Mary