Urinary Incontinence Support Group

Hi, I have a 7 1/2 yr old son who has been suffering with daytime wetting since he was 5. He has had every physical exam possible and tried many drugs, with no help. He is 1st grade and is suffering teasing, loss of friendship and embaressment. He also has 2 doctors in the mental field. We have tried everything. Anyone with any ideas, we would appreciate them. THANKS

hayden, glad you joined the group. Sorry to hear your son is getting teased and embaressed by this. You noted that you have tried all the medical items so far with no luck, that is something most of us have gone through too. Since that isn't working, what/how are you two trying to handle/deal with the wetting? If he is wearing diapers/pull-ups during the day, does it help? Have you talked with the school and his teachers to find out how they can help? Teasing at that age can stay with you for ever. I would think the school could give some help with that part. Might even want to ask the school to teach the kids about medical differences/handicaps, try to get them to learn that we are all made different and that we shouldn't tease or hurt those that have things wrong with them. If he isn't wearing diapers/pull-ups then I might suggest that you check into them. Again working with the school, they may be able to have a teacher or nurse work with him when he needs changed.

Sit down and talk with him, point out that so many others out there have this and other problems. Check out the websites such as Goodnite.com, or Under Jams, there are many other products that he could wear and it would be hard for others to tell. But the fist step is education and getting him to understand that he isn't different or strange, he is a growing boy that is loved and has a lot to look forward to.

Prayers for you and your son

Kent

Hayden welcome and I agree with what Kent said your son needs all the understanding that he can get I had a son that was in diapers full time until he was 9 due to health issues they finally fixed but he was also teased and picked on.

He would come home crying and all I could do was reassure him and let him know that his body just worked a bit differant.

And as far as his wetting boys are a bit tougher to train but as your son is older he might just grow out of it but if he does not please please let him know he is not alone that there are other boys and girls out there that have the same problem as he does.

I agree with Kent on seeing if his teacher can explain to the other kids that he wants to stop but right now he can't and have the teacher explain that just because he wets his pants does not mean he is not normal and wants friends etc just like they do.

As an adult that suffers from it I understand the looks and the whispers etc but I learned to live with it and if he can't stop we are here to support him and you as the parent.

God Bless.

Thanks, He does not wear pull-ups at school, he just visits the restroom frequently and is able to change his own clothes. The kids know he has a medical problem, but children this age like to tease any one who acts different. We pray help or change comes soon.

I really feel you need to talk to the teachers, nurse, and or principle about what is going on. This type of teasing can turn into very ugly. It is a from of bullying. Schools now days have some really strict rules against bullying. Only thing is they can't help if they don't know about it. It's really important also that you keep talking to your son, letting me know that he isn't alone with this problem.

Is your son taking extra clothes to school with him? If he wears pull-up instead of or under his underwear, he may not have to carry extra clothes to school with him. In fact, if you talk to the school, they may have a place that can keep extra's for him so he doesn't have to carry them around with him. If he does end up wetting his pull-up, at least his pants should be dry. If he wets and needs to change he then should be allowed to go to the nurse's office and instead of changing clothes, he can change is underwear and no one knows unless he tells or another student see's him in the nurses office and tells.

Since I have become incontinent, I have learned it's much easier to change a wet diaper than wet pants.

Will keep you and your son in my prayers and also pray that those that are making it hard for him.

Kent

Welcome Hayden,

I'm sorry that your son has had to deal with this. (...and sorry for the late reply. )

So, am I understanding that your son was at one time continent? He's only had daytime incontinence since he was 5?

I know you said that he has had many medical tests, but have they tried a CT or MRI of his brain? I know it is a long shot, and probably not the most common cause of idiopathic incontinence in children his age, but pressure on the brain causes many things to go wrong, one of which is incontinence.

By what you have posted, I'm guessing that your son does have some control and suffers from urge incontinence. Is he showing any other kinds of muscle or neurological failure?

It is very hard at that age for other children to be accepting of his condition and must be terribly difficult for him. Children at this age are very concrete thinkers. Things are either black or white. We teach our children that gaining control over body functions is a sign of growing up -- "You went potty like a big boy!" When a child doesn't have the same controls, others have a tendency to call them a baby (or worse!).

My son had a lot of neurological/learning and processing delays. Potty training was very difficult for him. He wore Pull-ups during the day until he was 5.5 years old. The neighbor boy, who is the same age at my son, used to call my son a baby because that was how his parents tried to encourage him to stop wetting diapers -- "You don't want to be a baby anymore, do you? Act like a big boy and use the potty!" So, the neighbor boy would taunt my son. His parents were very embarrassed and had to try to explain to the boy that some children mature at different rates because of medical problems. Unfortunately, most parents are not going to teach their children to be sensitive to others unless they have close ties with someone with disabilities.

My son no longer has trouble during the day, but still wets at night. Does your son wet at night also?

Like Kent says, it is easier to change a wet Pull-up rather than deal with wet clothing. I think your son would have better response from other children, if he didn't need to change his pants frequently. Then there would be less attention drawn to his condition, as he could handle it more discretely.

~Mary

i am 51 now but when i was young i wet my pants too, i think if he has a diaper on with duct tape so if he does make it uses it as a pullup but if he does not make it everyone in school will not know it , give the nurse some extras so he can get a fresh on if needed. i was a pant wetter too , i even wet my pants in highschool a couple of times, but after my operation in 1994 i am in diapers 24/7