MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
03/12/2010 03:59 AM

not feeling like a "man" in diapers

vagabonbum
 
Posts: 5
New Member

I am a 39 year old male that suffers from urinary incontinence. I have to wear diapers 24/7 for the last 4 1/2 years and don't mean to wine about it but I need some help.

Quick overview. Since I started to wear diapers I felt that I had to hide it. For a long time I felt "less of a man" becouse of it. I stop dating becouse of the rejections because of my incontinrnce and was even laught at. After some time I became comfortable with my having to wear diapers and relized that I need the proctection to enjoy life, but I still hide it.

I have met a wonderful person that I can talk to and share my life with. She is the first one that I have realy talked to about this since the accident. She tells me that she excepts the fact that I'm incontinent. We have been living together for a little over a month.

The past few months I have been in a hospital setting waiting for surgery and I felt even there a need to hide my diaper use from others. I could not wait to get into my own place to wear I didn't have to hide anymore.

Being at home now I some time feel as if my girlfriend will get sick of having to deal with this. Maybe its just me but I think "who would want me?" I mean she is the greatest. She has even told me that I'm sexy, even when I'm just in a diaper. How can that be?

Can anyone tell me how to rap my brain around the fact that this is true? I know it is, but I guess that I have told myself for so long no one would except the fact that I wear diapers and want to be with me. I know that the issue is with me but how do I excect "being a man in diapers?"

Sorry so long and if I seemed to ramble.

John

Reply

03/12/2010 01:08 PM
sal
sal  
Posts: 102
Member

Smile HUGS TO THE BOTH OF YOUSmile

John- IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR BLADDER DOES NOT WORK.

Many parts of our bodies do not function properly.....IT IS beyond our controlSick

Listen to your girlfriend she sounds like she REALLY DOES understand!

All we need in life is to know someone understands and the journey does get easier.

Cheers you two,

SalWink


03/12/2010 04:45 PM
KET
KETPosts: 222
Member

John,

Yes at first it is hard to accept that we have to wear diapers. But our diapers don't make who we are. Our diapers are just another part of our clothing, our underwear. What makes us men is what is inside of us, our heart and soul. Now that I have finally accepted that I have to wear diapers all the time, I am not going to let it stop me from living or thinking of myself a lesser person.

I am thankful for my diapers because I now am able to go out and do the things I love without having to worry about finding a bathroom or changing my pants because of accidents. When I am out and about no one knows that I have it on, and no one cares either. I work, go shopping, out and about, and even do prison ministry. My diapers are not going to stop me from living and loving.

I pray that you can start to look past the outer covering and look inside and find what a man is really made of. You have someone that is very supportive now and as long as you treat your diapers as underwear I know that she will not grow tired of you because of them. My wife has finally started working with me on dealing with my diaper storage needs, supplies needs and even makes sure I have what I need when we go out.


03/12/2010 05:55 PM
vagabonbum
 
Posts: 5
New Member

This is Johns girlfriend, but I just wanted to thank you for your support. I can't remember how I stumbled across this website but I'm really glad I did. We had some issues and we have managed to communicate on this forum in ways that we may not have otherwise. Thanks again.Smile

03/14/2010 05:32 PM
wheels12961
Posts: 9
New Member

There's no reason not to feel like a "Man". I'm a man & I'm also incontinent.

Incontinence is just like any other disability & a diaper or any other type of device or undergarment you might use is just an aid to help you live with it. It's like a pair of crutches.... It won't fix anything, it only helps you live a more normal life.


03/14/2010 06:21 PM
sal
sal  
Posts: 102
Member

Very well put.......WheelsSmile

Very positive and SO TRUESmile Smile Smile


03/15/2010 08:14 AM
vagabonbum
 
Posts: 5
New Member

This is John's live-in girlfriend.......Thank you everyone for your responses. The support found here is amazing and just what the Dr. ordered. Thanks again.

Trisha Smile


03/19/2010 01:07 PM
vagabonbum
 
Posts: 5
New Member

Are you listening, honey??? I LOVE YOU!!

06/03/2010 12:17 PM
ContinenceNurse
 
Posts: 22
Member
I'm an Advocate

John,

It's called LOVE! So happy for you.

I do understand what you are saying though. A lot of my patients tell me the same thing. And frankly, our society doesn't accept it so it makes it even more difficult to feel good in your place.

I would recommend that you focus on the really great things that are coming out of your relationship. There are some more "manly" incontinence products on the market now too so maybe try some of those as well.

Please let me know if I can help at all. Good luck.

Robin


06/03/2010 09:36 PM
Tommy100
Tommy100  
Posts: 903
Senior Member

This is so cool, John you are so lucky to have a woman like this in your life.

Hope the surgery goes well.

Tom.

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved