I am new to this forum, well new to any forum for that matter. I am not sure what to say here or how much of a back-story is normal for a newbie. It’s been years since I was diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia and believe it or not a smile came upon my face as the neurologist gave me the news. It was such a great relief and feeling that somebody beside myself finally agreed that there was something real and tangible happening with me and that the pain I was experiencing did exist.
I was on top of the world, just married with my first child on the way. Running my own company doing what I loved working with computers and being the boss. I started to notice that bright lights seemed to annoy me more then normal, almost to the point where it was uncomfortable. I can remember how upset my ophthalmologist would get seeing me back in the office again and again to have my sunglasses darkened.
At the time I just blew it off thinking it's part of getting older as it really was just a bit of an annoyance and not all that big of a deal. I mean really, it only bothered me when I was outside in the bright sunlight. Well that quickly changed and I began making appointments to see my doctor on a frequent basis, which eventually led to seeing specialists.
I went from countless new eyeglass prescriptions, to nighttime mouth guards and then onto stress relief exercises. From there it was allergy tests, hypoallergenic everything and special filters in the house. There was nothing I could do to get relief from the pain on the side of my face above, below and around my right eye.
I was then sent to see a neurologist for a lengthy examination and full medical history, and that’s when I was diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia. It was like the weight of the world fell from my shoulders and I once again had a light at the end of the tunnel. Well that light did not stay very bright as I went through every medication known to man. Here are some I can remember in no particular order: NSAIDs, Tegretol, Dilantin, Neurontin, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Gabapentin and Opioids.
It's been around 18 years now that I have been suffering with my diagnosed TN or whatever is creating this pain and the search is still on to find relief. I am writing today because I believe that my body has built up a tolerance to everything and the pain is only growing. Accidentally bumping the side of my face as I put on my glasses, brushing my teeth, an unexpected bright light hitting my eye can all start the cycle. And at times I don’t really know what triggers my TN, it just seems to start-up on it’s own.
My wife left me, I lost my company from making horrendous mistakes with day to day operations. The life insurance, savings, retirement and any of my possessions that would sell on eBay are all long gone. I am raising my two boys by myself and while I have been able to keep my head just above the water line, I am slipping.
I think the only way to succinctly word this is that my quality of life has reached a point where change is needed. They don’t make an antidepressant large enough and some of the medication mentioned above can be worse then the pain they are supposed to be curing. Walking around like a zombie as if I drank from sundown to sunup is not an option, at least not for me.
Taking all of the secondary ills away, being single, raising children alone, barely living at the poverty level, the depression of having lost my hopes, dreams and aspirations, well it’s created an environment with just an unreal level of adversity just to get out of bed in the morning. Then stir into the mix the unpredictable and unbearable pain of TN always there to take you down another peg. There has to be a solution, and I need to find it!
Wow, I just looked down and noticed how much I have written. Perhaps I am a bit more lonely than I first thought as there seems to be a need for me to get some of this out there. I guess talking to a computer is a step up from talking to one’s self. So if anybody actually got this far reading all of the ramblings above, I would appreciate any insight you may hold as to conquering TN, or at least taming it.
