Treatment Resistant Depression Group

Well its been almost two weeks and I'm still feeling good. I think we might have got me stable finally. I have motivation and mt anxiety is really low. I'm able to do things in the yard without worrying about what the neighbors thing, or it don't matter if they are out there, I can still go about my business without worry. It feels nice for once. Its taken a year to get to this point I hope it lasts.

That's great Rick! I hope it has a lasting effect.

Rick, that's so great for you. It gives me some encouragement that maybe...eventually... I will find stability. I was feeling pretty good for several days, but sometime over the weekend, the bottom fell out. I crashed and crashed hard. I saw my pdoc yesterday and he said I'm having a mixed episode... great. How long do I have to ride this one out? I feel helpless and hopeless. I'm going to email my pdoc.

I hate when my Pdoc says not to call him because I just have to ride it out--it is likely true--but it is such an awful feeling--the unknown as to when our brains will change gears.

I emailed my pdoc and he's increasing my Seroquel up to 800 mg. That is the maximum dose you can take. It always seems like I have to go through the cycle of exhausting all the dosages before we dismiss the drug entirely. I guess that makes sense, but it is very tiring and makes for really slow progress. He says that's what happens with treatment resistant depression... you have to go so high on the dosages because the lower doses don't do anything. His next plan of attack is Depakote. I feel like a walking chemistry experiment. What I would give for a month or two of stability.

I know how you feel. I feel like a giant side effect. I am sitting trying to give therapy to some kids and I feel like the room is spinning and spinning. Or I am popping ativan throughout the sessions saying I need to take my 'vitamin' since I never remember until the anxiety hits!!! But the dizziness and the vertigo are so awful. I am playing it down with my Pdoc as I just do not want to change meds again unless I am really dysfunctional. It scares the hell out of me to be honest. But I know the day will come. We are guinea pigs for these doctors and it is so frustrating. I wish I didn't care so much about my weight but I really do and so I am avoiding abilify and seroquel.....hoping someone will come out with another alternative soon! Sorry to go on about myself--bottom line-I feel your pain!!!!!!

I can relate so much. Its taken a year to get to where I'm at and all that time it was nothing but trial and error and I felt like a human experiment. Also the constant visits and calls to my pdoc because of the meds. Its very frustrating and disappointing when the meds don't work which is a lot of the time.

Plus it takes so long to go through all these meds waiting to see if they work or not. I've went through a lot and its been a real pain in the @$$. Hang in there and never give up hope.

I think what bothers me a lot is also the amount of time I have to take off work and what it puts my husband through--it feels like brain surgery! I am coping for now...just never know when I will be depressed again--but we are all in that boat!

I am glad to hear that you are in a good place Rick! And thanks for the encouragement and support!

Hang in there! I was once out of work for six weeks and then about 2 days every week because of meds and depression. Eventually it works out its just all the waiting and uncertainty in the mean time. Its been a year since I felt this good after being stable for 2 years when I joined here it was a real setback. But I stuck it out and never gave up hope. With so many meds there's got to be something that will work.