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05/29/2009 11:59 AM

Hi

NinjaKitten
Posts: 1
New Member

So my name is Angela. Im 19 years old and 11 weeks pregnant. When I saw the two little pink lines pop up in the screen of a First Response pregnancy test my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. Just to be sure, I went to Wal-Mart and bought a pack of the Clear Blue tests, the digital First Responses, and an EPT. I had, if Im not mistaken, 10 pregnancy tests total indicating a positive result. I should have been excited, but I felt doomed instead. My problem is, the baby's father doesn't want it. I went to the doctor and they confirmed my pregnancy. I waited almost a week before I plucked up enough courage to tell my BF. I saw him everyday, and I tried and tried to tell him. If I didn't tell him one day, I vowed to tell him the next. It was a vicious cycle I soon became trapped in. I was so scared and nervous. See, he is only 17, and I just knew by intuition that he was NOT going to be happy to hear the news. So finally, the day came to tell him. We were sitting in my car and I said, "I have something to tell you." He replied, "What?" I said, "You're not going to like it but...I went to the doctor...and Im pregnant..." When I finally spoke the words, I felt relieved, but I wasn't out of the woods quite yet. After I told him, I looked away. He looked down and was twiddling something he had in his hand. It was completely silent for about three minutes. Those three minutes were excruciating! I was waiting for him to say something and he never did. Finally he said, "OK" and kissed my forehead. I said, "I didn't mean for this to happen." He said, "Neither did I." And he walked away and went inside his house, so I left. He didn't call me the next day, so I called him and said, "What, are you not talking to me anymore?" He said, "I dont know, Im just so confused." When the conversation came up about what to do about the baby he asked me what I wanted to do, and I told him I thought that I could do it. I asked what he wanted to do, and he said he wanted to do what was best for both of us. So before I left, I asked again what did we decide on, and he said, "I dont want a kid." I was disappointed and I could feel myself about to cry, so I said, "Well Im not going to try and change your mind" and I left. This was back in March. It is now the end of May, and this is the honest truth: Not a word has been said about the baby or me being pregnant since. My problem is that I want to keep my baby, I just know that the father will turn his back on me. Honestly, I could care less about him leaving me. He has already proven that he isn't in it with me for the long run. I just know what it is like to grow up without my dad, and I dont want my child to have to do the same. And I know by law that my guy would have to pay child support and what not, but that is just going to tick him off even more to have to pay for a child he didn't even want in the first place. And I dont even know if he knows that Im still pregnant. I promise on anything he has NEVER asked or said anything since March. So now Im back to square 1 about telling him that Im still pregnant and I've decided to keep my baby. I've signed up for Medicare, and I have my first ultrasound June 8. I have schemed up so many ways to tell him, and I always get cold feet. Just the other day his sister told me that she is pregnant. I kinda saw this as a silver lining because his sister and I get along well, and I feel like if I told her everything, she could talk to my guy and perhaps get him to acknowledge the miracle he helped to create. Only problem is, I cant even make myself tell her yet, because I dont know if she would take my side or my guy's. So I decided to wait until I have the ultrasound and, hopefully, the doctor will give me a picture and I can take that with me to show my guy. Im so scared!! Im afraid he's going to flip out on me. Im NOT going to get an abortion. I've considered adoption, but I know its going to be so hard to give up my son or daughter once I see him or her. I've prayed and prayed for my guy to accept this. I want my baby to have its father. I just dont know what to do. I dont really have anyone to turn to. Not all of my family knows that Im pregnant, but the one's that do are supportive, and they tell me the usual: Its ultimately my decision. It's just so hard when your head tells you one thing, and your heart screams another. I do love my guy and, Im not trying to make excuses for him, but maybe he is just too young to see the wonderment in the situation. That's why Im hoping him seeing his baby on the ultrasound picture will bring him a fresh dose of reality. He desperately needs it. Is there anyone out there who claims to understand what Im going through? Anyone with similar stories? I just need some support because Im not getting it from my guy. If he would accept everything, I could finally rest at ease and actually enjoy my first pregnancy. I want to make the right decision, Im just a bit uncertain as to what that might be....?
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05/29/2009 01:00 PM
CarrieAnnx3
CarrieAnnx3  
Posts: 25
Member

If you feel that you can take care of this baby, you should keep it. Whether your boyfriend wants you to keep it or not. It is your body and, even though he is the father, this child is growing inside of you and you have every right to keep the baby if you want it.

There is going to be a lot of things to consider and that will run through your mind in the coming weeks but, once you have a decision, stick to your guns and don't let anyone change your mind. You are your own person and have every right to make your own decision.

Good luck, sweetie.

We're all here for you.


05/29/2009 09:48 PM
Meaghan
Posts: 2155
Senior Member

I'm pretty much in the same situation. I'm 19 years old and 16 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is 21 and is begging me to put the baby up for adoption (I've already told him abortion is not an option). Since I have no support from my baby's father and all he was doing was causing stress on me and my baby, I got up and left. I moved back home which is 5 hours away from him. He won't even look at my ultrasound picture. He did come to my first one but he just sat there and kept telling me to look away (of course that was impossible). My family is also supportive of me, so I am keeping this baby. To be honest, there's no easy way to do this. You just have to stay strong because there's a little life depending on you. If you want, we can go through this together, and maybe hope that somewhere along the line they both start to come to terms with our pregnancies.

Feel free to message me at any time, I check this pretty much every day because it's what keeps me going.

Like CarrieAnn said.. we're all here for you.


06/02/2009 10:41 PM
whitekitsune1
 
Posts: 12
New Member

I'm 19 and on my second pregnancy. I cant say I have experienced the same thing as you and many other girls with the whole boyfriend thing, cause he is the financial supporter out of the two of us. But, I can say one thing. Dont hold it back from your family. It doesnt matter what they think, you still have many people who support you. Whether you want the baby or not is up to you, but as long as you still have family behind you, you can take care of your child. One day you will find a nice man who will love and support you even if your 17 yr old bf doesnt.
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