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05/04/2012 04:18 PM

sorry, this is reeaallyy long.

cicigurl15
cicigurl15  
Posts: 99
Member

i messaged my brother on facebook. heres the messages between us. sorry its so long, i just needed to get it off my chest and i dont really have anyone else to talk to/share it with. Here--

Soooo, are u done talkin to me now too?

RJ Kimbrough

about an hour ago

RJ Kimbrough

To be honest I kinda am. I don't wanna sound mean by saying this but truth is you've manipulated everybody and shut them down. Those u haven't u still r manipulating. I'm not mad I just feel sorry for u and I'm not going to let it ruin my life. You've been very hurtful to the family here because of what u did. I can go down a list of people who r hurting for u Shaianne, Londell, me, and a lot of your friends at nchs. The sad thing is you're being manipulated to and unfortunately u know but just don't want to believe it. I'll be honest I really think that mommy manipulated u but be honestly when u were 5 is this how u pictured your life, when u were 10, 13 etc. A real mother abandon her children for the majority of they're lives. Worst yet she wouldn't make it to where Her children hate the place they live because they haven't been taught otherwise. It's a tough process to learn and it took me years to learn it and I really didn't want to believe it but it's the truth. A real mother wouldn't have done half the stuff that she did to us and I'll be honest she hasn't talked to me since she got u back in September. I'm not upset but that's the reality of the situation is if you're not with her she will discard u like you're nothing. Now I'm praying for u and I really am not mad at u but I can't have u hurting my life here and you are a lot. Shaianne was in tears because she felt she didn't know u anymore. You know how much that hurt me to see her so hopeless. You were her best friend and she loved u like a sister but she can't trust u. I love u sis I really do but I cant have u hurting me anymore

Ciara Long

45 minutes ago

Ciara Long

ok, how have i manipulated people? shaianne and londyll and me talk all the time. they say theyre both fine with me. my "friends" at nchs dont exist. i can name about 5 that have answered my messages since i moved. so if theyre hurt, thats their problem. ive tried to keep in contact. mom sent you messages every holiday and never got a response. the problems between me, dad, lori, and gammy have nothing to do with you or my feelings toward you. ive apologized multiple times to them and they refuse to except. they STILL want me to get rid of deon. ALL i want from them is an apology for the way they treated me. then who knows what could happen. but they refuse to see anything they did wrong. now i dont have a problem with you not talking to me. but were not going to end on bad terms. therefore, i would like a few questions answered and if you have any questions i would like you to ask them. dont just believe what people say. ask me, not others

Ciara Long

about a minute ago

Ciara Long

oh yeah, and id please like to know what i did? i mean, yeah i know i chose to keep deon, but thats not affecting any of you. and i know i chose to move in with mom, but dad and lori knew that waayy before i got pregnant. as a matter of fact, dad TOLD me to. he said he didnt care. that things would be easier on him if i did. so again, please tell me what I did wrong that i havent apologized multiple times for already. and the main reason i asked if you were done talking to me is because im coming down there in june, and i figured if you had any problems or questions we could talk face to face about them. Deonll be with me, its your choice. but id still like some answers. please and thank you

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05/04/2012 11:30 PM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

Those were hard to read lol.

Cici your father abused you guys, correct? It's normal for kids to align themselves with the abuser, it's an attempt to stay safe by staying in the abuser's favor. When you left, you threatened the illusion of the functioning family. That is why he is saying you manipulated...in an abusive family, to speak out against the abuse means to them a direct attack on their authority.

That is just my limited perception and it's hard to tell what is going on entirely from those texts. I'm sorry though...I've recently cut contact with my dad and brother.


05/05/2012 05:28 AM
chipsbaiigul
chipsbaiigul  
Posts: 3228
Group Leader

Izzy, I don't think you should be telling someone WHY someone else said something. You have your own experiences and deal with them completely differently than other people. You can have opinions but I don't think it's right to just say "this is why" since you really don't know these people and have no idea why he does anything.

05/05/2012 11:40 PM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

I think I included that in my post that my perception is limited. There is truth to how an abusive family operates though, not just in my experience.

I guess I assumed she was looking for an opinion, so I gave one.

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