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01/29/2012 10:38 PM

bf says he's not ready to be a dad?

readheadgirl
Posts: 17
Member

Hi I don't know really what to do... My bf is 16 and this week we made amends and I had taken plan b last week. I thought we could work this out slowly just him and I. I don't have my period and my hpt was slight. What should I do? I mean I love him and I feel I did him wrong throughout our relationship. It just is now he have this problem we can't agree on it...
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01/30/2012 08:18 AM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

You being a parent, or him being a parent, doesn't depend on the other person. If you decide to be a mother, he can still decide not to be a father. He is still legally obligated to financially support the baby if you decide to carry to term, but that's not related to parenting on his part.

I'm sorry you are having difficulties. I wish it were easier. I think this is a hard reality of teen pregnancy though, and most of us have had to deal with it ourselves. All you can do is keep the communication open and honest, and really listen to what you need. YOU. Not him. You.


01/30/2012 08:33 AM
chipsbaiigul
chipsbaiigul  
Posts: 3228
Group Leader

are you sure you're pregnant? when was your period supposed to come? all of this stress is sure to have made you late. when i stress that much i end up late by at least a couple of days and i'm on birth control. plan b is very effective when taken quickly after sex. i think you should give it at least a week after you were supposed to get your period before you worry. if you're at a week, i would take another test. Clearblue sells a test that answers in words "pregnant" or "not pregnant" rather than those confusing lines that never worked right for me. good luck (:

01/30/2012 08:39 AM
readheadgirl
Posts: 17
Member

but I don't know what that does to our relationship? I wanted to spend my life with him. He says he's too messed up to have kids and he doesn't like them. I don't want a kid either I had goals to go to college next year and leave town. I don't know how this fits in. I don't want to lose our relationship he's my first and only guy I've ever loved...

01/30/2012 08:41 AM
readheadgirl
Posts: 17
Member

it's been a week I was supposed to get last monday and I have a very faint line on the second line I think.

01/30/2012 08:44 AM
Izzy87
Izzy87  
Posts: 2731
VIP Member

If you don't want to be a mother either, that's ok. There are options. That's why I am stressing that you need to listen to yourself. In all honesty, you are young. People aren't made halfway done needing another person to "complete" them. You are complete all by yourself, and a good relationship is not a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So don't limit yourself and your future because you are in love with a guy right now. I mean, that's ok too, don't get me wrong. Love takes work and choices. If you two decide you are on different paths for now, that's ok. You will be ok, and so will he.

01/30/2012 09:41 AM
readheadgirl
Posts: 17
Member

I feel like I am with him though...

01/30/2012 02:32 PM
chipsbaiigul
chipsbaiigul  
Posts: 3228
Group Leader

i really think you should buy a clearblue test. they aren't any more expensive than any other test and there isn't a line to have to figure out. i think the first thing you need to do is find out that you actually are pregnant. IF you are, then you need to decide what YOU want to do. do YOU want to be a mom? do YOU feel comfortable having an abortion? what do YOU think about adoption? once you figure out the answer to those questions you can decide what that does to your relationship with your boyfriend. do NOT make the decision at all based on what he wants. i made my decision based on what my boyfriend wanted. we'd been together for 2 years and he said i shouldn't get an abortion so i didn't and i kept my son and he isn't involved at ALL. it's so not cool of him. even the best guys can really turn out to suck during a pregnancy so please don't make your decision based on how he feels.

01/31/2012 09:33 AM
readheadgirl
Posts: 17
Member

I'm done with him. He didn't take it well he was abusive. I can't believe that was his reaction. Ok well I guess this may not matter or maybe it's too early to tell. But at the hospital everything was negative for pregnancy...

01/31/2012 11:04 AM
chipsbaiigul
chipsbaiigul  
Posts: 3228
Group Leader

you probably aren't pregnant then. hospital tests are almost never wrong. i would bet you just had a scare.
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