Teen Pregnancy Support Group

hi my name is jami. I'm 19 and 12 weeks pregnant. I will be due 4 days before my 20th birthday. I wrote some on the abortion board but they seem so sad hoping to hear from like a more positive approach I guess. I am having trouble though thinking of keeping it. I have hiv but have been taking medication for it. I am on medical insurance by the state though. I know I could have a healthy baby chances are if I ctt I will. But I'm more concerned what happens to my daughter (i feel that it is a girl) if I don't get to be there when she grows up. I have no family. My mom gave me up and I ended being sold to come here as a prostitute. This other guy became my 'owner' and I recently got help outside of it to leave and have had rehab government assistance and even a place to stay it's just hard being 19 without a job ever. Then again I have more of a chance to stay here if I have this baby. I also love it and everyone time I feel my belly I want my little one to be mine. I don't want an abortion. But I feel like what am I bringing her into. How can I expect her to to have it any better than I did if I die when she's little. Then how is she better off at all? And then didn't I create a horrible cycle? I guess I was hoping perhaps maybe one of you had a similar situation? Any good outcomes? Mainly though I know the disease is my biggest issue. Seeing I went without treatment and I know many might never have deal with that but other than that like not any family support of any kind? Umm anyway thanks for listening I guess.

Post edited by: twiggy11, at: 09/29/2011 05:13 PM

Hey I'm Sarah, I'm 20, and I have a 5 month old little girl (I thought she was going to be a boy lol). I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been through!!! It's as lot to deal with being pregnant and not sure what to do. I know your adoption went wrong, but if you talk to planned parenthood they can help you find a good adoption agency where you can CHOOSE the family and even meet them if you'd like before deciding to put your child up and even remain in contact with them for as your child grows up. I actually know a couple in my area looking to adopt and they're an amazing couple and have been struggling to adopt for awhile now. But if you choose to keep your little one, that's totally okay too! I know it's worrisome to have HIV and possibly die before he/she's even 18. It would be important to have a Living Will stating who your child would go to if you were to pass away. Anyway, welcome to the group and if you have any questions or anything feel free to send me a private message.

but to whom?

To whom what?

to whom would I put in my living will that's my biggest issue. I ust don't know anyone here that I'd ever trust with anything.

Well you'd have to figure it out or else your child could be automatically given to the state or to the closest relative which I'm assuming you don't want to happen... Do you have an old teacher or counselor or friend or anything in your life? I really do suggest you speak with Planned Parenthood because they can help with this so much more than I can! They're really supportive and amazing and you could probably find someone there you'd be able to trust.

my family isn't even in the states. I don't know anyone here besides the people that sold me and people involved. Nonetheless, I have been seeking advice from a counselor. I guess I don't like it because it hurts.

Will your parents or family be willing to take the baby if somthing happens? Im here if you ever want to talk

Hugs Mary

Maybe adoption would be a better option for you then? Do you believe you can do this on your own?

i don't know exactly what i would do in a situation like this but i've heard enough stories about kids that were dropped into state systems for whatever reasons that i would never, ever want to think that my child would have to go through that. i don't know enough about your situation to know if you have anything to really worry about. have you spoken to a doctor? is there any particular reason to believe that you won't live for the next 18 years? i'm not sure what i would do in your situation but maybe you should consider adoption or at least find out some more information about it.