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07/28/2011 10:30 AM

Needing Help

JazzieBabie
JazzieBabie  
Posts: 36
Member

Lately my boyfriend has been making me feel very low...and like a slut...and not to mention I've been trying to talk to the father and he calls both me and the twins his toys...I feel so lost....and terrible...not to mention I'm terrified for the babies births....
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07/28/2011 09:09 PM
BerLynn
BerLynn  
Posts: 549
Member

Honey if he is treating you poorly that is not good for you. You need to think about what you want. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to take break. You needto do what is best for you and your children. I know giving birth is a scary thing but with twins they normaly do c-section. If you ever need to talk pm me.

07/29/2011 10:53 AM
SarahBear21
SarahBear21Posts: 521
Member

Stop talking to the father. Why are you talking to him in the first place? If he raped you, I don't see why you'd want anything to do with him. He's clearly an asshole and not helping your situation get any better. It also seems your boyfriend doesn't get it and you might not wanna be with him anymore. I know it's tough, but a lot of us raise our kids as single mothers and it's possible to do. Good luck with everything hun.

07/29/2011 01:28 PM
Zetchen53
Zetchen53  
Posts: 266
Member
I'm an Advocate

you're not in a healthy relationship you should stop talking to him. You are a strong woman you just have to believe that and leave him. I dont raise my son as a single mom but it feels like it since his dad/ my boyfriend is hardly ever around. You really just have to think about what's best for you and your babies.

07/29/2011 07:24 PM
chipsbaiigul
chipsbaiigul  
Posts: 3228
Group Leader

i know sometimes it seems like being alone will be harder than being with someone but it sounds like this guy isn't good for you. i know it took me a really long time to realize it but sometimes as much as you care about someone, they can do more harm than good and it sounds that way with this guy. you have you do what's best for you and your babies.

07/30/2011 11:58 PM
JazzieBabie
JazzieBabie  
Posts: 36
Member

Thanks guys....It's just hard...and he keeps saying he's not ready....but neither am I....and...he's not the one who's going to be having them...I eel like such a slut....

07/31/2011 12:56 AM
BerLynn
BerLynn  
Posts: 549
Member

Don't feel like a slut you were raped. It was not your fault.

07/31/2011 01:15 AM
JazzieBabie
JazzieBabie  
Posts: 36
Member

it feels like it's my fault......

07/31/2011 01:57 AM
BerLynn
BerLynn  
Posts: 549
Member

But its not honey.

07/31/2011 10:00 AM
SarahBear21
SarahBear21Posts: 521
Member

It's not uncommon for rape victims to feel ashamed and blame themselves, but clearly none of them were at fault. That includes you. It might be a good idea to go to therapy if you haven't already or call a rape crisis center in your area that can help you. Because if you're going to raise these kids you need to be able to accept what has happened, preferably cut off contact with the ex bf who did it, and move on so you can give them the best life possible. It's hard and a struggle, but it's necessary. If you feel you're not ready to raise two kids (possibly on your own) then start looking into adoption, maybe open adoption so you can still see them and have picture updates and such.
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