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06/22/2009 09:53 PM

Depression?

Sarah11085

Hey guys!

My name is Sarah and I am 24 years old. For about a month I can't stop thinking about my speech/stuttering. I believe the reason is because I just moved back home permanently after being away at school for almost 3 years. In December, I went to the Hollins Communications Research Institute for a resfresher course. After returning home I was fluent for two week before returning to school. I was terrified and excited about going back to school. I was terrified because I knew I'd have to start over with the progress I had made with my speech while being home. It was horrible. It was felt like I slammed into a brick wall. Slowly but surely my speech started to slip back. I started talking to my mom nightly on the phone, but it still didn't improve. At this point, my paralyzed vocal chord made it impossible for me to feel the movements of my vocal chords that I need to feel to produce fluent speech. It was the worst feeling I have ever had- my fluent speech slipping away from me.

Now, at home I get so upset that I was fluent and now I a not and it is all my own fault. On top of this I am student teaching in the fall- I am scared shitless, especially now that my speech is back to where it was pre-therapy. During the day, I can supress my emotions ok, but I still think about it some. At night, I just want to cry because of the type of situation I have put myself in. I don't think I am depressed but I've never felt like this before-just hopeless and don't want to go or do anything because I just think of how I have to talk.

Has anyone been depressed because of their speech? Any suggestions on what I should do?

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07/17/2009 09:27 AM
nojspark
Posts: 2
New Member

Hi Sarah!!

Im Neenu, 22 yr old, doing my final yr medicine. I guess even Im in the similar situation as yours.. I ve been stuttering my whole life till now.. there has been times of progress n regress in my fluency depending on my attitude towards my speech. I ve realized that only I can do something about my speech..By blaming myself or by being depressed I make it worse for me..

Some tips..

1. Take one day at a time

2. Forget the bitter past and press on towards the goal

3. have regular follw up with the therapist.. if not possible.. have a close friend or own parents or own WILL-POWER to keep a check on the rate of speech

4. Above all know that THE GOD WHO CREATED YOU IS IN CONTROL OF YOUR PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE Smile

5. Keep the faith, speak slowly, with intonations

6. You are worth so much more for what you speak than how you speak

My best wishes...

Keep smiling..CHEER UP..

so many dear ones love you for who you are!!!


09/01/2009 04:45 PM
jennbean414
Posts: 2
New Member

Hi Sarah

I'm new to the group and am totally going through what you are going throught right now.

I developed a stutter during my senior year of high school, now six years later I have definately realized that it is not going anywhere. About a year after I started stuttering I went into a deep depression and saw a ST and pyschologist for my anxiety and depression. Then my speech was managable for awhile, but always present.

My speech has worsened since moving out of my parents house with my fiance, graduating college, and becoming a new Registered Nurse. It's so horrible when I'm at work explaining processes to paitents and their families. and call doctors for things, and have to stutter. I have the blocking kind of stutter, when nothing comes out or i have breaks in my speech. I try to cover it up, only to feel more shame, which leads to anxiety, which leads to my stuttering worsening, and inevitably leads to embarassment and then shame again, the vicious cycle continues...

However I can say that when I am optimistic, have strong faith in God and myself, I have noticed I don't dwell on my stutter and therefore cause it to get worse. It's just getting through the depression and self destructing phase that it the hardest part.

Does anyone know of any support groups or good Speech Pathologists in the Annapolis, Baltimore area? I haven't seen one in about 4-5 years and feel that its about that time again.

ThanksSmile

Jenn


10/08/2009 04:27 PM
KaeW
Posts: 2
New Member

Hi Jenn,

I can totally relate to how you are feeling!! I am a twenty-six year old adult who has been stuttering since I can remember. My mom tells me stories how she felt so bad for me as a child because I had such a hard time getting words out. I did go to therapy 3 times a week as a child because my stuttering was so bad.

During my middle school years, I can't remember stuttering. I talked on the phone and had no fears of speaking in front of the class...at least I can't remember.

It seems that as I got older, stuttering got worse. I did go to speech therapy in college but still, no results. I am now a teacher and forced to talk every day. I love what I do and have so much knowledge but dread the embarrassment of looking "stupid" in front of my studnets, parents, and co-workers. I feel that my stuttering has stopped me from achieveing greater goals.

I wish my stuttering would just disappear. I know it isn't the worse "disability" in the world but for me, I feel that I just want to be "normal."

Does anyone know of any self-help or support groups in the west palm beach, fl area?


10/08/2009 04:31 PM
KaeW
Posts: 2
New Member

Sarah,

I am right there with you. I have been teaching for five years and my stuttering has always embarrassed me. No one really has ever pointed it out to me until this year. Teaching middle schoolers is a challenge and some of them, especially girls are quite evil. What prompted me to join this group was actually a group of students. They keep asking me why I talk weird and tell me that they make fun of me...why can't I just talk normal to them (since I sometimes use a slower pace to avoid stuttering).

I wish more people understood how difficult it is to be an adult and have speech difficulties!!!

We can get through this..I'm determined to beat this thing!!!!


10/09/2009 09:44 AM
dreemm
 
Posts: 179
Member

Hi Kae, I totally understand you. It's hard on those of us who stutter, not trying to, just happens. Kids are the worst, then there are adults that are trying to be funny. They don't understand why we do it, it's not a choice we make. I stuttered alot as a kid but it's tapered down alot now and occassionally I will stutter, bringing back those memories of being teased. I have twin boys who stutter, well 22 yo's still stuttering. I tried to teach them to stop and take a deep breath to relax befor talking when they feel they start to stutter. They said it didn't help. They teased each other when they were young but it didn't bother them as it did when others did it. I always wondered how other people who stuttered dealt with it. I hope you find a way to oversee the uneducated people who don't understand how it feels.
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