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12/05/2011 01:43 PM

When to call in the professionals??? APS

Posts: 25

My mother-in-law had a massive stroke a little more than 4 yrs ago. It nearly killed her, and left her with the mentality of a 7-year-old on her good days. She was very independent prior to the stroke, and after she insisted that she be allowed to live alone in her own home. She tries to cook, makes a huge mess and then never cleans up. She tries to keep candles and oil burners, lighting them with one hand.

It has gotten to the point many times now that I have been in her home trying to help her clean up, and she REFUSES to allow anyone into her bedroom to clean. She has been hiding bottles of alcohol, and asks for more. Her son has allowed this behavior to continue, and doesn't feel the need to control the situation.

I feel the need at this point to call in some help, I feel that the situation has gotten bad enough that Adult Protective Services needs to be contacted for her safety, and for the safety of those that live in homes connected to hers. I know that this is going to piss her off an is going to piss off my husband, but I feel that it needs to be done. When I talk to my husband about this he says she won't let him do anything. I say that he needs to take the reigns and control the situation. My mother-in-law is not able to drive, is not able to go anywhere alone. She is incapable of safely taking care of herself, and making safe decisions. My husband is too chicken to stand up to her and take control.

So here's the question... do I call in Adult Protective Services and get the forceful help that she needs? And risk ruining my relationship? Unsure


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