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02/06/2012 09:04 PM

I feel like I'm losing control and....

Posts: 7

I feel like I'm losing control and it's causing me to "check out" of life at the moment. I have an incredible amount of life stress right now and no solution or outlet for any of it.

I won't bore you with details but here is a general overview of what's causing me stress...I'm a fifth-year university honors student getting rejected for all my master's applications so now feel like a failure and feel lost for my future. I live alone with my pet rat, my pet rat is going downhill quickly and the vet just waves off every issue I bring her in with. My best friend is always busy at work or hanging out with other friends I don't know, and I don't have many other friends besides her. My boyfriend is long-distance and is too busy to talk on the phone to me. My family lives five hours away and when I try to talk to them about stress they just increase the pressure on me and make it worse. On top of dealing with all these issues alone, I still have to keep up with my midterm exams and essays. I am also struggling to pay for school on my own, I get student loans but they are barely enough to make ends meet, so I'm also dealing with financial stress.

I just feel like I'm losing control of my life, it feels like too much stress for one person to handle. I am starting to skip school to just lie in bed at home. I can't do homework or anything, I can't explain why. I just can't physically do it. All I can do is stress out and cry and feel alone.

Help me figure out how to get out of this helpless victim mode and regain control of my life, please? Any suggestions at all? I just feel so lost and alone and I've given up on everything.

Post edited by: CdnGirl89, at: 02/06/2012 09:29 PM


02/07/2012 12:15 PM
Posts: 7262
VIP Member

I wish I knew more about the educational issues you are facing. I know NOTHING about the Masters programs, or what that entails. I do know that you have put 5 years into a life PLAN. That you are nearing the completion of that goal! As with most things in life, the closer we get to reaching our goal, the harder the chalenge becomes...

Is it possible to get a leave? I don't know what it is called, Not just quiting but a leave of absence for personal reasons? A chance to regroup and recharge?

Being so far from family and friends, not having a support system in place where you are is something you can address! However, it takes reaching out to others, establishing relationships, trust and maybe there are student resources available to you. Counceling never is a bad choice!

As I reread your post, you have alot going on, it isn't only school and accidemic requirements, which by the way you appear to accel at! Your lonely! Do you have a "sociallife"? Do you have a study group or even a friend to study with?

How old is your Baby (rat)? are some of her health issues due to her age or diet or lack of sunshine? Remember not only do you need sunlight, but she does too. Sunlight coming thru a window is not sufficient! No vitamine D comes thru glass! Are ou getting enough sunlight? If not take a supplement! Decreases in vit D causes depression and lack of energy!

Cdngirl, you have come so far with school it would be a shame to give up now! Yes, it's tough, but you can do it! You just need to find resources to help you!

We are here whenever you need to talk, or vent, or just need a wide shoulder to cry on! You aren't alone! I will keep trying to think of things you can try or places and people you may want to reach out to for help to get you thru this rough spot!

I'm prayin' for you! Hang in there, all you can do is the best you can do!


02/07/2012 07:33 PM
Posts: 465

Dear CdnGirl89,

It seems to me you could really benefit from a good supporting system. Congrats on making an effort to post here. It is really significant. Please try to find more support. A local support group could be really helpful. You might find some people with different backgrounds and values but struggle with similar issues. You need to find as many supportive friends as possible. To find one, you could try to be one first.

No one likes failure. However, most of the time, we realize we are still breathing, kids are still smile, the earth is still round even at our worst failure.

Sometimes we simply need to learn how to relax. Recognize that the failure this time prepares a success or at least a better failure next time. The fear of failure will stress us out, but the embrace of failure will keep us moving toward the right direction.

Your first goal: relax! (You have done so well already. It's time to relax.)

2nd goal: find some more supportive friends and be one of them too.

PM me anytime for support. If I cannot be as supportive as you like. PM Reba. If that's still not enough, just keep finding more supportive people. You will find many those kind of people here.

02/09/2012 11:19 AM
Posts: 9124
VIP Member

Your're not a failure. You are furthering your education and that is priceless. You have come this far, a fifth year honor's student is quite an accomplishment in and of itself. I'm sorry you are getting some rejections from where you have applied. That's no reason to give up though. If you have to apply elsewhere and keep applying until someone takes you. Sounds like you may need a little guidance and support maybe someone at school or a therapist, to help put things in perspective and maybe see how you can manage the financial part of your education. There are people in that are if not at your school, who can talk to you about the financial end. Hugs, Rachele

Post edited by: Peace4Rach, at: 02/09/2012 11:21 AM


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