Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

So I have a problem now. My wife is home from the hospital. She was fine till dinner time. She kept saying her bad experience. So now it is almost time for her to take her meds. But she keeps insisting her old meds works and not the one prescribed. I was able to convince her to take most of them but she won't take one. Klonopin. Is this bad? Is is taking lithium and zydis so I am fine. Should I worry?

Her medications were prescribed for a reason and she should be taking them exactly as instructed. Good for you for managing to convince her to take at least two of them! Unfortunately, all you can do is try to make her see the importance of following the psychiatrist's orders. You can't make her take them. But you can and should make a phone call to her pdoc's office to make them aware of the situation.

Is she going to be going to either a partial hospitalization or intensive outpatient program? That information can be communicated to those providers also.

I am fortunate that my husband has been totally med compliant since diagnosis. If he wasn't, that would be a deal breaker for me. Having said that, your wife was just discharged from the hospital, which simply means that she was "stable enough to be discharged" which does not mean "stable." I wouldn't panic, but it is something to keep an eye on. After a (hopefully) decent night's sleep in familiar surroundings maybe she will feel a little differently tomorrow.

Fingers crossed for you.

Post edited by: WornOut2, at: 04/26/2012 06:42 PM

Post edited by: WornOut2, at: 04/26/2012 06:42 PM

Right now her outpatient is not till Monday. Can I take this all weekend? She is taking most so I am fine with that till she argues again. She keeps saying the pdoc there was bad and didn't care. So she just acted nice and did whatever she was told to get out. And I knew she would do that. Now she wants to go back in her original meds prior to her stopping cold turkey. I know her going back to her old meds is a bad idea but how can I fight this for 3 days till she sees her pdoc. I will make a call to the hospital pdoc tomorrow.

I can share the advice I was given when my husband was first out of hospital and it was not to engage in arguing no matter what. Easier said than done when we're stressed and anxious and exhausted ourselves. But as you know those meds take time to take effect (hospital didn't tell me that. Thanks) Anyway. That was the best advice. If you can bite your tongue and keep the atmosphere as calm as possible that will help.

Klonopin helps anxiety, so keep an eye on her anxiety. Its good that she is at least taking most of them, and hopefully she will see the benefits in taking all of them as prescribed. She needs a lot of encouragement now, so try not to upset her, try to focus on the positive not the negative. I find with my husband the more I am supportive and tell him how much I appreciate his efforts, the more he wanted to improve. I know it is challenging, your doing good!

thanks everyone for the advice. I am a little calmer now knowing this is not a big med and she is sleeping. Hopefully she will get 8-10 hrs and tomorrow I can reason with her about taking everything prescribed even if she thinks the pdoc at the hospital sucks and just out to get money.

I know I should be sleeping too but I am much too worried. I guess I will have to look at the bright side, it will only get easier once the meds really start. I think she is about 60-70% of her prior self.

I am relieved she is sleeping. Some people use benzos (klonopin is an a class of drugs that are called "benzos" for short) to help them sleep. My husband often takes his benzo (Ativan) when he is having trouble falling asleep.

Sleep is really important right now. She will need lots and lots of sleep to calm down from the episode and to heal.

Unfortunately, I know the dread in the pit of your stomach that comes with "I was just doing what I had to to get out of the hospital." That's a large part of why I recommended being VERY involved with her treatment team IN the hospital.

The IMPORTANT thing is that she is taking her mood stabilizer (another important thing is that people who are psychotic take their antipsychotic, but your wife is not psychotic right now), which will ideally prevent her episodes. I think with her attitude right now you should probably actually watch her take them....do it as discretely as you can but make sure she actually TAKES them....

Hang in there. This is the hard part. It DOES get easier, but not yet.

Her followup appointment being on Monday is a GOOD thing.

PS. Do you have a benadryl in the house so YOU can sleep?

Married, I am alright with sleep. I just need 5-6 hrs. It is just her I am worried about.

Now that she is out of the hospital. To tell you the truth, it wasn't really a hospital. It was more like a mental institution. It felt like a jail for the mental. I understand why. Most patients were homeless or drug addicts. My wife pretty much told be about evryone' s story today. She said she was the only one with is normal. Everyone had a sad story. My wife was just stuck there. So I can understand why she did what she did. Now I feel so bad about picking the place instead of a regular hospital.

I wasnt involved enough before was because I was scared. I also denied myself that I can do this. The last 2 weeks, I have been pondering about getting myself into therapy. But I haven't. I guess I am still in denial.

Lib. NEVER beat yourself up for not knowing what you know NOW about this mental illness that is bipolar.

And I think many of us on here can tell you that our spouses were the most highly functioning people in the psych ward. (Well after that first day when they were admitted with psychotic symptoms.) Nonetheless, when our loved ones do/experience certain things, the best place for them is a psych ward, be it a poor one or a rich one.

And PS. Don't underestimate the "scared straight" effect--her seeing how bad the place she was in...well, she might not work extra hard to NOT go back there (and don't be afraid to drop a gentle hint to that effect...)

Lib, I agree with Married. You cannot beat yourself up for knowledge you did not have. I know it is a temptation, but it is wrong.

I also think Married has a point about the "scared straight" effect. I had a friend back in college that kept attempting suicide. It was most likely to get attention because she would do thinks like take a whole mess of pills, then call her doctor and tell them she took the pills. She did this several times, then her parents insurance stopped paying for the nice private hospital wards. The next time she did the attempted suicide thing, she got sent to the state hospital and learned what it was like to be someplace with people that had "real problems". It was no longer group meetings and jello. It was the smell of urin and people screaming in the halls. She never attempted suicide again.