Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Hooba, I would really love for my husband to crash, and I know I am helping to prolong this, any advise would be gratefully excepted, as all our kids are suffering, he told them ten days ago, no promised them, he was going to be the best Dad ever since then they have heard nothing. I spoke to him last week told him some home truths, I have heard nothing since. I even feeling like going on some dates which is a message he gave me via one of our daughters. I am at such a lose, I love him and am hurting but dont know whats next. Every bit of advise gratefully received

Hi hemhide,

I'm new here and have yet to post my story, but I too am suffering from being abandoned by my BPSO. Hopefully I will work up the courage to write it all out one of these days. It hurts so bad and some days it feels like it will never get better. I long for him although I don't know what I would do if he returned. It's a longing that can't be described in words. People give me advice on how to feel better, cheer up, move on, etc. and all I can think is those are temporary remedies and I will go back to feeling awful again so what's the point. I hope you can find some peace through this tough time. I hope we all can. I'm praying incessantly for all of us. Love and hugs...

WillTryLv

"Giving someone a 2nd chance might be like giving them another bullet for their gun...since they missed the first time."

Post edited by: WillTryLv, at: 03/26/2012 01:02 PM

Willtrylv, welcome you are so in thr right place these guys on here have saved my sanity many times. I have been married to my bps for 23 years 5 kids, this is a man who professed to hate cheaters and deadbeat dads, today thats exactly what he is, none of our kuds talk to him, have only seen him twice this year, I have received no money from him, he is living with an OW and her kids, been on vacation, got a car and motorbike this year, didnt even give our kids a card for christmas or their birthdays actually didnt even see any of them for their birthdays. I truly honestly deeply feel your pain and hurt, we know as perhaps few others can how you feel. Big big hugs.

Hemhide7, how come you don't receive money from your husband? If you are entitled to it, you should make the attempt to receive it, or is that why you are saying you are prolonging his crash? I found, that as soon as I cut my husband's support off (not court mandated) he crashed and I wished I had done it a lot sooner than I did. I know now he would have hit bottom faster and would have received help sooner. Just a thought..

hemhide: Making my ex pay his back child support payments was one of the best things I ever did for myself, our kids, and even for him. It was one of the things that finally got his attention that he needed to make some big changes in his life. Consider going to recovery services if you need to. Seconding hopeful's comment.

Wow. My wife just sent a text. Somebody called her doctor and now she has to go in on Monday. She actually added the comment that she is a little manic right now, but it is getting less. I had sent her a text earlier to find out if she had made a decision about her cell phone. I had told her Friday she had to decide soon if she wanted to keep it and transfer it into her name or get her own line and I will shut the one she has down. but I was not going to keep paying for it. I sent the text because I did not want her to keep dragging it out.

Think she will try to manipulate soon?

Post edited by: Silverlock, at: 03/26/2012 02:49 PM

Silverlock, thank goodness they got a hold of her and she is going in. Hopefully she will come down before then. When manic, they can really just seem happy because they are finally free from their controlling spouses....UGH!! Some dr's see it, but most don't. It is really ashame you can't be there to share what is really going on with her there. I sure hope they go over the list you gave them of your concerns, I am surprised they are waiting til Monday, a lot could happen before then. Is there any way she would let you go with her? It would really help her stability if you do.

I think it is a very positive sign she is reaching out and trying to share what she is feeling.

I hope so. I am suspicious if it is to keep me from turning off her phone though. I sent her a text offering to take off work and go to the appointment with her. She has not responded yet.

I hear you. I would still shut off the cell phone per the original plan.