Are you sure this guy has a license to practice? When did swinging (by just one partner, used to be called cheating) become acceptable behavior??? This guy is a wackadoodle. I can't imagine any competent therapist or psychologist or counsellor saying this. Did your wife pick this guy out? Where did she find him? Craigslist???
Saintfan, in your shoes, I think I would throw in the towel. We're here for you whatever you choose, but I think you have hung in there longer than many of us would have been able to.
This BS with this JOKE of a therapist is just really egregious. I would report him to your state licensing agency.
I wish there were competent therapists who know about this. We have gone through 6 counselors and we are on our last one. I am so tired. The counselor said we should separate and then my husband moved out. He said he finally wanted to listen to the "experts". I know there has been abuse in this relationship and definite inequities. So he left and left me with our 4 year old and 7 year old to live at his vacant parents summer home in town. He hasn't called to check on the kids or even done anything. I wonder if this is permanent now and it is hard to pick up the pieces. I will say it has been nice not to have the stress in the house. There is a heaviness when he is off the manic phase.
It sounds like the counselor is telling what "saintfan"'s wife wants to hear. I wish God would intervene in all these relationships because the thinking does not make sense in their minds. God help us all!
Hi everyone. I'm new, but thought I'd voice up anyway. I wanted to talk about marriage vows. Specifically, our vows are: He is to love his wife like he love himself. She is to respect her husband, no matter what.
I guess my question is, if you were to truly, honestly, love your wife LIKE YOU LOVE YOURSELF, what would that look like? Do you love her in the same way you love yourself?
I guess I think that it's a husband's job to love and take care of himself first, SO THAT he can truly love his wife. And I think sometimes the way to show love, unfortunately, is to step back allow a loved one to hit "rock bottom." I think that sometimes though we have big hearts and good intentions, we aren't really helping our loved ones by saving them.
I know all this is easier said than done, and for that call me a hypocrite. But I didn't see anyone else post it, so I thought I'd pipe up.
Well said, girlyju! Sometimes that is the best thing we can do for them.
I'm also wondering if a call to report that "dr." would be in order. His statements are beyond ridiculous! Swinging is acceptable in a marriage? Come on!
12/01/2011 11:47 AM
Posts: 256 Member
I saw my social worker that works with the psychiatrist. I have never seen her so red in the face. THe MD came in and told me that do not worry that they would address what that moron told us. If we need to go to couples (sex) therapy he will send us but right now as long as she is psychotic it will not help. The MD sees my wife next week until then I am to make sure she takes all of the medications
12/01/2011 11:56 AM
Posts: 707 Senior Member
Saint, I am very glad you decided to speak up to the doctors. It may mean the difference between night and day. Good for you, and I know I can speak for us all here by saying, I hope it all works out.
12/04/2011 04:26 AM
Posts: 256 Member
My mothers90th birthday party was this weekend. My son had to bring my wife back to the hotel because she thought that everyone was against her and talking about her. I get an urgent call to get me to leave the party. I had spent 6 months making my mom a digital photo frame. I did not get to see her watch it the first time (I scanned over 1000 photos from her lifetime into the frame.)
She received a call from the friend she had promised to hook up with. I watched her answer him on the bridge base site she was not going to have sex or meet him (I can view the chat history so I know she had not sent hime any invitations) He called and I told him She is not interested in him. and if he calls again I will call the police because he is stalking. My brother that work in law enforcement ran a check for me. He is a sex predator. He has a long history of sex crimes How did he get her email and phone No??? She gave it to him of course
The biggest tragedy is I missed the celebration, My brother is putting the photos from the party to update the frame
Her actions almost got her into the hands of a rapist
12/10/2011 04:28 AM
Posts: 256 Member
My wife and I are an a weekend encounter to "restore intimacy" It is really good in the first night we are restoring touch and we have home work that we do the exercises undressed. They have all of us sing a song to each other
Listen Listen Listen to my hearts song, I will never forget you I will never forsake you
In the first days session she at fist thought it was all BS but as the sessions went on she started getting it and I hope coming to the realization that the things we do can hurt each other. I am relearning how to express my love for her like when we first met.
We start a new couples therapist next week. Unlike the last one she asked if my wife sees a PsychMD and she will not work with us unless she is complaint She told me on the phone that she will spend more time with me because I need her help the most right now that there is not much she can do with my wife until her medications are controlling the mania. "You cannot argue or compromise with a psychotic person". It sound like she knows what she is doing
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