Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

We need to get back into couples counseling. We were seeing a therapist and it was helpful as it gave me a safe place to let out some of my feelings and it helped him to hear that I actually had legitimate complaints. We had a falling out with the therapist after a couple months - things weren't moving as quickly as she wanted, she got frustrated at the run around we were getting from the dual diagnosis program and the detox program (dd wouldn't take him on the Klonpoin but detox wouldn't take him to get him off the Klonopin). While we were in her office she asked husband if he would go to detox and he said yes, then she asked me what I would do if he didn't go - I said I was done with him saying he'd do things and not following through, that basically I was done if he did not go to detox in the morning. So she called detox and when they wouldn't take him she said he had to go to 30 day inpatient and that I was kicking him out if he didn't go. That was not what I had said, but she wouldn't even give me the chance to say that. We had not even discussed inpatient and were hoping for an outpatient program where he could keep his job. I didn't even know if we could afford inpatient.She talked over me and told him either he was going to 30 day rehab or he should call her in the evening and she'd arrange help for him to find a sober living home. Then she cut our meeting short, left and didn't bother scheduling another appointment. I know what she was trying to do (force him to get help) but it left me feeling very played, manipulated and confused. So, needless to say I don't really want to go back and see her.

Sheesh...he's ok again tonight. Hung out with our son and watched the home run derby for a little bit and amazingly ate a dinner I made again (that's the second time in a week...probably a record for the past 4 months). Yesterday after our argument he was sure he was the victim and it was all our faults, we were hypersensitive, etc. Tonight he started being a little argumentative with our son and actually caught himself and said "Oh, that's what I did the other night. Sorry, I am just too opinionated." And was then able to move on and enjoy a conversation together. When he is like this I feel hopeful. He started getting restless so we left him to his man cave and now he's playing guitar. It is hard to believe this is the same person who did not shower or get out of bed for three days. For tonight I feel like I did the right thing giving him the money. I still don't like it, but at least it bought some peace in the house until pdoc on Monday. I can tell he is very guilty again tonight and is trying to make up for it. I'm trying hard to be compassionate and not angry. Seems to get a better reaction than my nagging and angry tirades, but sometimes I just can't help myself.

He is not out of the woods yet, I think.

He is "too opinionated" with his son?

Opinionated is not his problem, IMO. It is a SYMPTOM of his problem.

Nagging and angry tirades---another reason not to try them? They don't work. They especially don't work on an unstable spouse. They make things horrifically worse.

You are right, no way is he out of the woods. Lots of symptoms still, just hugely improved from this morning. Working on biting my tongue!