Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

We have been planning for a long time to fly to see my family. We stayed with my parents for the whole time about a week. We were having so much fun (me, my husband, and my three kids) visiting everyone.

And then the third day hit and it all changed.

I have a step mother who is very anxious and has a hard time relaxing. My husband was having a very hard being around her or anyone. He did not want to visit anyone, he wanted to leave my parents to go stay in a hotel. I have not seen my dad in over two years so I wanted to stay at his house so I could spend time with him.

The trip was giving him so much stress and was feeling really down. He said the choices were to stay in a hotel or for him to fly home.

I was very upset. I wanted him there with me and the kids to have fun on our time off and my family wanted to visit with him too. I told him he had to make the decision if he wanted to stay or leave ( as I did not want to tell him what to do ).

I was very upset when he actually decided to leave. I said I supported him because I did not want the stress to turn into a manic episode or have it go the other way.

But I cannot believe he left me with three kids in another state!!!

And then I get home and he has not done anything around the house and leaves super early the next morning for work, so I don't get any help with the kids again.

I feel really frustrated about the whole situation, and fell hurt, and alone. Well thank you for letting me vent and any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks

And I have no fabulous advice...except to say, that if it were me I'd let him stay home alone with no one to cook dinner for about three days. And let's see if that doesn't change his attitude.

Happy Posting!

Just to put in your toolbox for the next time: I would NEVER take my husband to stay with my parents again unless there was some major catastrophe. My husband does not do well staying in other people's houses. It is ALWAYS better staying in cheap hotels OR him staying home and me going alone. My parents blare TWO TVs all day and all night long, A major trigger for my husband.

Now, we don't have three children that have to be watched. But even if we did?? My husband, on meds, in therapy, on a regular sleep schedule, and striving for stability---THAT man? He would Not be able to handle three kids PLUS staying in my parent's house.

If your folks and like my folks, they take offense if you get a hotel and don't stay with them. But if your folks are like my folks, you can educate them about BP and they can understand that he needs to be in an environment he has more control over, and a hotel offers that.

Just some rambling late night thoughts.