My husband had been relatively stable for about 18 months, now he seems to be on the low end of manic. He is on Seroquel, Lamictal and Lexapro, though his psych states he is not bipolar. Given hubs' history of numerous psychiatrists and multiple diagnoses, I am in strong disagreement. Unfortunately it is not safe for me to talk to his psych anymore,and hubs is now refusing to return to marriage counseling.
He cycles through episodes so frequently that it makes my head spin. I never know who is coming home.
Soooo, if he's not ill, what's his psychiatrist prescribing these meds. for? Sounds fishy. Seroquel is an anti-psychotic. There's really no reason to take it if you're not in danger of psychotic/manic episodes. Are you getting this info filtered through your husband?
It sounds like these symptoms need to be reported to the psychiatrist so that med. adjustments can be made. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
Yes everything DOES sound fishy! Hubs had what was diagnosed as psychotic depression shortly before the birth of our son. The psych wanted him committed, but hubs refused to go voluntarily, and with me 38 weeks pregnant, I didn't have the strength to do it forcefully.
I used to meet with the psych with him, but the psych claimed that since hubs can hold a job, he isn't bipolar. Seriously? This man has pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. He is staying with this psych because he isn't required to be in therapy. His last two docs released him from their care because he refused therapy. the last time he was manic and I called the doc, he called hubs instead of returning my call and asked HIM why I say he is manic. Needless to say, things exploded and I took the kids and left for several days. This most recent episode led to me leaving for three days again.
I don't know how to get him To understand he has an illness, and I know it s not my job. I love him tremendously, but I don't know what to do anymore.
A few questions, because I am confused. Why is it not safe to talk to his pdoc? You should have unlimited access to the pdoc and be going to every/almost every appointment with him. People with BP have an altered sense of reality. The pdoc needs you there in order to get a true picture of what is going on.
It is not possible for your husband to have refused commitment. That's not the way it works. He can refuse voluntary admission and if a person refuses voluntary admission, the mental health laws allow for a 48 to 72 hour hold in order for the patient to be evaluated to see if he/she meets the criteria for involuntary commitment AND for the psychiatist to go before the judge to get a signed civil commitment order. Once that order is signed, you are in the hospital until a judge signs another one saying it is safe to discharge you.
It is possible that the pdoc has not used the term "bipolar" witn your husband yet because your husband is not ready to hear it. My husband was initially diagnosed with depression. After his suicide attempt in August 2009, his pdoc told him in Oct 2009 that he had "agitated depression" which is just another term for bipolar buthe (unlike me )never questioned that or looked it up. Since my husband was initially extremely med resistant to even taking an antidepressant, she took baby steps with him. He never started on a mood stabilizer until April 2010.
Do you monitor his meds to make sure he takes them? Just because he has been given prescriptions doesn't mean he takes them. I have 100% control of my husban'd psych meds. I set up weekly pill containers - one for the AM & one for the PM. He takes whatever is in there. Which can be a good and a bad thing. I forgot to put the antidepressant in his AM vial and he went without one yesterday. I don't know what made me check later in the day to see what was in the AM vial.
Hubs refused voluntary admission, and I refused to sign papers allowing the doc to have him committed. You may be right about the baby steps, but I know - now - for a fact at least one previous psych told him he was bipolar and had him on lithium.
Anytime I have tried to talk to his psych since the baby's birth, doc calls hubs back instead of me. This then sets off a huge blowup that in the past has resulted in me having to get the kids out of the house,
I am wife #3. Hubs has no friends, and is estranged from everyone in his family except for his dad. After our marriage, I learned that what I thought was him hanging out with friends was actually him seeing a multitude of women (hypersexuality). For the last 18 months there has been ZERO intimacy, which he claims is because I make him feel worthless.
05/21/2012 08:34 AM
Posts: 9 New Member
Oh and he takes his meds... They are kept in the bathroom and he takes them in front of me nightly. I do believe his dose is too low.
05/21/2012 09:07 AM
Posts: 1786 Senior Member
((((((Init2winit)))))) Treating bipolar really is a team effort, and if he doesn't want you to be part of the team, you have at least one strike against you before you even get out of the starting gate.
Keep posting. And keep reading, because there is a ton of excellent advice on the board from people who have walked in similar shoes.
Do you have a means of support or is he it? Do you own or rent & whose name is on the deed/mortgage/rental agreement? Are your finances separated?
If you are needing to grab the kids and leave on a regular basis, that worries me.
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