This week is going to be rough. The divorce hearing was supposed to be this morning, but since I am in Florida, I am having to send in an affidavit. That means the divorce will be final probably next week.
It is starting to hit me. Damn her for making me do this!! This sucks!
I have not contacted her. and I am trying to stay on that path.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I have had to refuse my mother a place to live because she was on Crack. I have had to wait for a SWAT team to rescue me and my coworkers. But this is worse then those.
In trying not to contact her I have sent the following email to a friend. I figured I would post it here as well. I am just so sick to my stomach today. But I have to do whatever it takes not to contact her and give her ammunition to manipulate me with.
Damn her for making me divorce her, damn her for going off her meds, damn her for drinking, damn her for bringing home a bar fly. Damn her for taking my life away. Damn her for the lies and evil things she has said. Damn her for taking my best friend away!!!!!
Well, I did something. It might be stupid, but it was something for myself. Even though I should not have put any more on the credit cards, I figured why should I have all the payments and none of the fun. So I ordered an ipad today. Just something for myself. I even had it engraved with "I will survive!" on the back.
05/01/2012 07:11 AM
Posts: 3899 Group Leader
I think it is great that you did something for yourself. i love mine, very handy and fun. I say GOoD for you!
I love my ipad. I think you will too. It is good to things just for you once in a while. Heck I was nervous when I read the I did something... but good for you! Enjoy that damn ipad! Need to enjoy something!
Post edited by: ridingthewaves, at: 05/01/2012 09:39 AM
05/01/2012 10:33 AM
Posts: 3169 VIP Member
Sorry Riding. Did not mean to worry anybody. I figured buying that was better then writing my wife. I have been vacilating between telling her the "damn you" stuff, and telling her if she wants out, she will have to do it herself when she is stable. I know if she is still manic, neither will move her at all. Matter of fact, her and her boyfriend might just get a laugh out of it.
05/01/2012 12:46 PM
Posts: 1651 Senior Member
Right on Silverlock...buying something you will really enjoy is a good idea!
This idea of making your wife file the divorce paperwork... I have been having the same idea. I have this nagging feeling (mainly for religious reasons) that divorce is not right and I should force his hand so I can walk away without guilt...but I wonder if I will just prolong the pain and healing? It also kills me that my husband can say he gave me a chance with his 'plan' and I was unwilling to do it so I must not want to reconcile...I feel your anger and hurt and sadness...this all SUCKS!!!!
Post edited by: lifeishard, at: 05/01/2012 12:47 PM
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