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04/25/2012 09:16 PM
patientlove
patientlove
 
Posts: 1149
Senior Member

Ok guys, ex-DH finally admitted that he has a baby with the OW. I think the only reason he told me was bc he thought I was on to him. I think it surprised him that I didn't freak out. It was a bit empowering to be able to hold myself together, though I did cry a little. I also get some pleasure out of knowing that the OW is probably really irritated that I didn't scream at him.

I think she's still trying to compete with me, though. She set up a public social networking account for the baby (with full name). WHY would anyone post pics of their baby (with baby's full name & location) publicly on the internet (when their OWN page is private)? Trying not to fall for the bait.

His parents are mortified, but it makes me mad that he took her to meet them. They told me there is no way they'd like or love her more than me, but I'm so jealous. She doesn't deserve to be in their house.

Ugh. I think about it all too much.

Sorry I'm not on as much, school is keeping me so busy!

Love is patient; love is kind... It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7).
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04/25/2012 09:35 PM  Top
hopefulcb
hopefulcb
 
Posts: 3238
Group Leader

Well at least it is out there now. Im sorry though that you have to deal with all of that. She is nothing to be jealous of, your in your Inlaws heart and always eill be!
It isn't my husband's fault he has an illness. It is his responsibility on how he treats it so he doesn't hurt others or himself in the midst of it.

My opinion, is just that, I am here to share my experience, strength and hope to those whose lives have been affected by this disorder :)

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown

04/25/2012 09:38 PM  Top
patientlove
patientlove
 
Posts: 1149
Senior Member

Thanks, hopeful. It's all been so much to process. She took my place. But I know you're right.
Love is patient; love is kind... It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7).

04/25/2012 09:39 PM  Top
marriedtoit
marriedtoit
 
Posts: 9089
Group Leader

How awful for you to have this confirmed!

But remember that you are NOT in a competition with this........ person. Your baby's paternal grandparents sound like they are very sane. Just cling to that.

All of my advice is based on experience and reading. I am not a medical doctor, and have never even played one on TV.

04/25/2012 10:02 PM  Top
patientlove
patientlove
 
Posts: 1149
Senior Member

Oh, married, how I wish it were a lie! Sad I'm still so MAD! No, I don't want to compete with her. My ex is NOT a prize! I don't want him back anymore!

Yeah, his grandparents are in a bad place. They have another grandchild and it's not the baby's fault, so they have to be civil to her. But UGH! I hate that she's visiting them and talking about it as if it were all so grand. It makes me nauseated.

Love is patient; love is kind... It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7).

04/26/2012 03:55 AM  Top
LindaCarter7
LindaCarter7
 
Posts: 451
Member

I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I'm not even going to say stay strong because that's asking too much of anybody. I don't know hoe I would have reacted but I KNOW it wouldn't have been graciously like you. You're amazing my friend. Truly amazing.
In sickness and in health, I will honor and love you.

04/26/2012 04:29 AM  Top
enoughalready
enoughalready
 
Posts: 1096
Senior Member

So sorry patient. I know that must have been so hard to hear, but good for you for not freaking out, you are so strong.

One thing to think about, she will always be the women who slept with and had a baby from a married man. That alone sets you above, not that it’s a competition, just shows what kind of people you both are and the value systems you will teach your children.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

04/26/2012 09:57 AM  Top
WornOut2
WornOut2
 
Posts: 1386
Senior Member

I am so sorry you have to deal with this, Patient. Kudos for maintaining your composure. And I second what Enough said. {{{{{{Patient}}}}}}

Previous discussions I participated in:
Excessive sleep?
question about bp wife
Secrets and Lies

04/26/2012 10:05 AM  Top
patientlove
patientlove
 
Posts: 1149
Senior Member

Thanks, guys..so glad I have you!
Love is patient; love is kind... It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7).

04/26/2012 10:37 AM  Top
Kitkat777
Kitkat777
 
Posts: 951
Member

Patient. My heart hurts to read this but I also feel inspired by your composure. That's something to be proud of and you are setting a foundation for your baby. The thing we can do for our children is to model emotionally healthy behavior.

(((((((patient)))))))

I'm here to learn, to define and set my boundaries, and to support other spouses/SOs

Be the leader in your home.
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