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04/17/2012 09:30 AM

Out of Sorts

WornOut2
WornOut2  
Posts: 1819
Senior Member

When my husband called at 11:31 AM, he said "I was out of sorts because I couldn't reach you earlier this morning, but I know that I need to learn to live with that." Outs of sorts. Is that what you call it?

Between 8:40 AM and 9:09 AM this morning, he called my cell phone EIGHT TIMES, leaving a voice mail message the last time he called about "being unable to reach me and, if I was unable to call him back by a certain time,really really missing this call." I was on the phone for my job, and finally resorted to turning the phone off because as soon as I hit ignore, he must have hit speed dial.

When I spoke with him, he wanted to know if the work call was "worth it." WHAT???????? Dizzy Angry Dizzy Angry I don't know if it was "worth it," but it IS what I get paid for.

And yes, my dear, you most certainly MUST learn to live with the fact that I cannot be available to you 24/7. GET OVER IT!!!!!!!

Okay, venting over, thank you very much.

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04/17/2012 09:38 AM
ridingthewaves
ridingthewavesPosts: 1494
Senior Member

vent away! It is better then reaching through the phone and smacking him!Blink W00t Unsure

I have only experienced that sort of need to talk to you NOW sort of attitude when my SO was manic, but it got old quick! One time that sticks out: I was at work, on a work call. He called the office number and my coworker answered. My coworker could tell that my SO seemed "in a rush" and wondered if it was an emergency and if he could do anything for him. My SO proceeded to tell him to go ask me the password to our cell phone account. Devil Devil


04/17/2012 09:56 AM
Kitkat777
Kitkat777  
Posts: 1021
Senior Member

Yes vent away!

Does he have OCD too? DBT therapy can help with that. Learning skills and tools to tolerate uncomfortable feelings is key. Instead of calling you he has to learn those skills.

Maybe get a workbook? There's a good workbook called DBT for Bipolar.

My husband reads it alot.


04/17/2012 10:33 AM
WornOut2
WornOut2  
Posts: 1819
Senior Member

@Riding - but reaching through the phone and smacking him would have been SOOOOOOO much more satisfying! Devil Devil Devil

@KitKat - I have never seen anything which would lead me to suspect OCD. But per his current Pdoc, he has borderline, dependent personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder and emerging agoraphobia. He could definitely use DBT. Hadn't thought about a workbook. He is unable to concentrate or read, so that would most likely require a team effort, with me being part of the team. I would need an attitude adjustment in order to jump into that whole heartedly. I just don't need another thing on my "to do" list (just being honest)>

Post edited by: WornOut2, at: 04/17/2012 10:34 AM


04/17/2012 11:08 AM
sallyo
sallyoPosts: 3682
Group Leader

Kitkat: Where do you get the workbook DBT for bipolar? I would love to have that one.

04/17/2012 11:26 AM
Kitkat777
Kitkat777  
Posts: 1021
Senior Member

I'll get the title when I get home.

I think "workbook" appeals to my husband because he feels he is actually DOING something if that makes sense.

There are alot of checklists and things like that.

I bought it when he was in rehab and left it on his office ( up on the shelf not even on his desk)

At that time we weren't even talking about bipolar yet.

So when I saw him working in it I knew it was a big step forward.

He also is interested in any changes he can make that don't involve meds- like the sleep schedule (btw way he is one that gets up now abd opens the blinds and he goes right to bed at 10)

Anyway. Didn't mean this to get off track. Smile


04/17/2012 09:37 PM
marriedtoit
marriedtoit  
Posts: 11199
Group Leader

I don't know what to say to his "was it worth it" question! Was it worth it for you to miss my important call--which was not important?

When he starts the summer program, I would start a new policy, if I were you, about him calling you at work. This is just ridiculous.


04/18/2012 05:36 AM
WornOut2
WornOut2  
Posts: 1819
Senior Member

Ridiculous is an apt description, Married. And I love, love, LOVE your interpretation of his statement!

This morning, he reminded me again that he had an IEP meeting for one of his classified students during the time when he usually makes his first call of the day. He has been obsessing about this since Monday when he found out about it. Trust me when I tell you all that I had not forgotten! Means I can work from 8 AM till close to noon without any interruptions from him. So, I suppose I need to get off of this website and get cracking!

He has a pdoc appointment today - the second one I am not attending. The last one was at the doc's request, which she does periodically. This one is my choice - I didn't want to leave work early enough in the day to attend. I'll fax notes over to her this morning, like I always do when I don't attend.

Post edited by: WornOut2, at: 04/18/2012 05:36 AM


04/18/2012 08:20 PM
Kitkat777
Kitkat777  
Posts: 1021
Senior Member

Hi. The workbook is titled "the dielectric behavioral therapy workbook for bipolar disorder" by Sheri Van Dijk.

04/19/2012 08:31 AM
WornOut2
WornOut2  
Posts: 1819
Senior Member

Thanks, Kitkat. Guess an online search and possible trip to the bookstore are in order.
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