Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Between 8:40 AM and 9:09 AM this morning, he called my cell phone EIGHT TIMES, leaving a voice mail message the last time he called about "being unable to reach me and, if I was unable to call him back by a certain time,really really missing this call." I was on the phone for my job, and finally resorted to turning the phone off because as soon as I hit ignore, he must have hit speed dial.

When I spoke with him, he wanted to know if the work call was "worth it." WHAT???????? I don't know if it was "worth it," but it IS what I get paid for.

And yes, my dear, you most certainly MUST learn to live with the fact that I cannot be available to you 24/7. GET OVER IT!!!!!!!

Okay, venting over, thank you very much.

I have only experienced that sort of need to talk to you NOW sort of attitude when my SO was manic, but it got old quick! One time that sticks out: I was at work, on a work call. He called the office number and my coworker answered. My coworker could tell that my SO seemed "in a rush" and wondered if it was an emergency and if he could do anything for him. My SO proceeded to tell him to go ask me the password to our cell phone account.

Does he have OCD too? DBT therapy can help with that. Learning skills and tools to tolerate uncomfortable feelings is key. Instead of calling you he has to learn those skills.

Maybe get a workbook? There's a good workbook called DBT for Bipolar.

My husband reads it alot.

@KitKat - I have never seen anything which would lead me to suspect OCD. But per his current Pdoc, he has borderline, dependent personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder and emerging agoraphobia. He could definitely use DBT. Hadn't thought about a workbook. He is unable to concentrate or read, so that would most likely require a team effort, with me being part of the team. I would need an attitude adjustment in order to jump into that whole heartedly. I just don't need another thing on my "to do" list (just being honest)>

Post edited by: WornOut2, at: 04/17/2012 10:34 AM

I think "workbook" appeals to my husband because he feels he is actually DOING something if that makes sense.

There are alot of checklists and things like that.

I bought it when he was in rehab and left it on his office ( up on the shelf not even on his desk)

At that time we weren't even talking about bipolar yet.

So when I saw him working in it I knew it was a big step forward.

He also is interested in any changes he can make that don't involve meds- like the sleep schedule (btw way he is one that gets up now abd opens the blinds and he goes right to bed at 10)

Anyway. Didn't mean this to get off track.

When he starts the summer program, I would start a new policy, if I were you, about him calling you at work. This is just ridiculous.

This morning, he reminded me again that he had an IEP meeting for one of his classified students during the time when he usually makes his first call of the day. He has been obsessing about this since Monday when he found out about it. Trust me when I tell you all that I had not forgotten! Means I can work from 8 AM till close to noon without any interruptions from him. So, I suppose I need to get off of this website and get cracking!

He has a pdoc appointment today - the second one I am not attending. The last one was at the doc's request, which she does periodically. This one is my choice - I didn't want to leave work early enough in the day to attend. I'll fax notes over to her this morning, like I always do when I don't attend.

Post edited by: WornOut2, at: 04/18/2012 05:36 AM