I got out and saw a movie today. I went to see The Hunger Games. I thought I was doing a good thing. Turns out the movie, while very good, was an emotional roller coaster. I don't think I was ready for that.
I miss my family very much. I am not only losing my wife, I am losing my step daughters.
I think the hardest part of all of it is that you have no say in it, and no control over it. I hope you will be able to have a connection and some kind of relationship with your step-kids. That has to be devastating. But how is your relationship with them? Do they know how much you care for them? How long have they been in your life?
Talk about it whenever you need to.
04/01/2012 05:43 PM
Posts: 3229 VIP Member
I think they know. I did get a text from them this weekend. I had sent the older one the Hunger Games book and the younger one the first book of the Borrowers. They wanted me to know they got them (at their dads) and that they love me.
They have been in my life for 3 and a half years. I know that does not sound like a long time, but to me it was. The youngest one was 5 when my wife and I started dating. She is now 8 almost 9. The oldest is 15 soon to turn 16. The dad said I could call or visit them anytime. But I am sure if my wife reacted as she did when she found out I was talking to friends, I am sure she is going to react even worse if she finds out I am talking to the kids.
I still have hope that she goes to the doctor tomorrow and the Doctor will see what is going on.
04/01/2012 06:36 PM
Posts: 98 Member
At that age, it will be hard on them. 3.5 years is a lot for kids! I hope you will keep in touch with them, even if she gets mad. It's about you and them, not about her. You are a big part of their life, and that shouldn't end just because your wife couldn't keep it together!
I hope she'll go to the doctor, too. I really hope she will.
Take care of yourself, and nurture your relationship with those kids. They need you!
04/01/2012 08:41 PM
Posts: 11209 Group Leader
I think their "I love you" suggests that you will not lose them. They want you in their life! I think you should make some kind of regular contact with them--like text them every day and call them every week. They are likely really freaking out--Their mom is decidedly unstable, hanging out with a scary man, fighting with adults in the family, and you and their mom have a precarious relationship at the moment.
Reassure them you are not going anywhere.
My husband and I are going to see Hunger Games over Easter break. Maybe I need to read some more about it to make sure my husband won't be triggered by the movie.
04/01/2012 10:57 PM
Posts: 3933 Group Leader
Lets hope that your wife goes to the dr and has a real awakening on how unstable she is. I pray this happens for you.
04/02/2012 01:57 PM
Posts: 1819 Senior Member
If they expressed their love for your and their father told you that you could call or visit any time, I think that that is all you need to know.
She is unstable. Hopefully, the kids' father knows this and is at least limiting contact? If that is so, likely she wouldn't even know that you are in contact with the kids. And if she finds out and it causes even more instability? Maybe that will be the wake up call she needs.
04/02/2012 03:00 PM
Posts: 3229 VIP Member
Unfortunately the dad is doing nothing to get the kids out of the house. The only thought he has given to it is that it might keep him from paying child support.
I will try to keep in touch with them the best I can. 250 miles away will make it hard. But I will make sure they know I do care about them.
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