I was worried for her at first. But then I started having selfish thoughts. Everybody is gong to our friend and being sorry for her loss. Hardly anybody has come around on the loss of my wife. I think everybody is uncomfortable over it. I hate that her husband died, but at least she knew he loved her right up to the end. This got me thinking about everything else, and everything I have learned since last week. The one that kept coming back was, not only was she cheating on me, she was bringing the guy home and doing it with her kids in the house. That is not my wife. She just expected them to lie and cover up for her when I got home. She did not care they were crying themselves to sleep at night. This brought to mind a thing from sci fi stories. Death of personality. The personality that was my wife is dead. I had started to slip earlier. I sent a text telling her I missed my best friend. I was trying to comfort her in the experience of being on the phone when our friend died. But then I remembered something that Hooba posted on a different thread. It took knowing he wsa cut off and losing his family for good to bring him out of it. So I sent the following text to my wife: "Forget what I said earlier about my best friend. My best friend would not have brought a strange guy home and screwed him in the house while the kids were there. Even if she was having personal problems, she would have respected her kids more. At least I can now morn the loss of my wife. She is truly dead". I have to remain strong now. No more texts. I will call Kaiser and let them know about the death of our friend, but I will not contact my wife anymore except about getting the car insurance and phone out of my name. No more pleading to something that is not inside her right now. Mania Sucks!
Infidelity Sucks!
Sociopaths Suck! |
I was still trying to figure out some ways to get her to listen. As far as what you wrote right above here, Silverlock. 