Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Just to give those of you (especially the BPSO(BP sig. others) in early treatment) a glimpse of how a stable BPS can live their lives, I'm back for an update. I went in for a med adjustment January 19 and saw a back up pdoc not my normal one for the winter time depression that was kicking my ass. I just wanted to either change the AD(antidepressant) or ad Abilify to it as I have heard good things about it. Well I got exactly what I asked for, I told him Lexapro worked better for me, so he changed my AD, and I also asked if I could be on Abilify, because I've heard good things about it, no problem. Then I said, I haven't taken my sleep meds for some time now because they quit working, would you switch me to Lunesta rather than Ambien please? No problem. This is the kind of Pdoc's you can get, instead of telling me what I needed , he just gave me what I asked for, I assumed I was right.

Well about early February I was starting to notice my mind was really starting to race and I was extremely irritated/agitated, yet my body still felt like it was dragging a 75 pound weight behind it. Feb. 12 was mine and my wife's 13th wedding anny. That must have triggered the mixed episode I was in and I spent that entire weekend disengaged and on the night of our anny., I got intoxicated and we stayed in separate rooms. Once again she was mad as hell at me and I couldn't see what was happening. So the rest of Feb. was spent laying on the couch or just not going anywhere outside the house unless I absolutely had to,which was every trip to the store as my wife is still trying to heal from her back surgery. But I was basically just an ass**** the rest of Feb. to my wife and kids.So we decided the best thing to do was just wait till early March to see my regular pdoc and see whats wrong, I hate this feeling.

My wife and I, yes I think the BPSO should always go, I'll get into that another time lol, we go to my pdoc and come to find out the other pdoc gave me a med that interacted with another one. Ah!!!DING DING DING, that's what has been causing me to be in limbo land, between mania and depression. So he changed it up and upped my anti-psychotic. It took about 2 1/2 weeks but I am back to feeling positive, being optimistic, and best of all, not being an ass****! At no time however did I ever lose the loving ability , unlike full blown mania, thank god.

If you are new or someone just going through this , and you took the time to read this post, just know that people can have BP and other problems as I do both mental and physical, and with the right treatment still live happy productive lives. I am the most hard headed person you will meet, it took me 10 years to accept this disorder, but I am finally stable and have my "happy little family"!

Sorry for the long post, but I am just feeling good today and just know so many of you are hurting. I just want to let those of you know that you CAN have a good life with a BP person who is on meds and seeing Doctors. Keep your heads up.

Jamie

Thank you Jamie. Very encouraging.

Good to hear. My wife is at the very beginnings of this process, and it's pretty rocky.

Hang in there hythloday, as long as she is trying to get better, just keep encouraging her.

Hooba you rock for sharing insight. I really appreciate you! It's hard! You and your family weathered the storm. You're awesome bc you are willing to look out for and try to avoid the storm. The storm is bad but you are not. You are great bc you are trying to be the best you you can be. We are all trying to to do that! Rock on

My husband is also beginning this process. A bit of a rocky day here.

Hooba, I too appreciate your willingness to share with us.

I even got a good laugh...because I can see the humor in getting the pdoc to just give you what you asked for....It got a giggle out of me. I happen to think that is one of the greatest problems with some of the doctors out there. We fortunately go to a doctor, that if you mention a drug that is "street desirable" he'll give you the exact opposite. It's just too funny. I am grateful for out doctor.

Keep it up. I love that you understand a SO's need to be in appointments. I go to every appt. with my husband...but once in a while I let him go in alone, incase there is anything he would like to keep private. We have been very fortunate to be so open and honest with each other, but we still respect each other's privacy.

Thank you for sharing you experience, strength and hope.

Bless you.

Thanks for sharing hooba, it's nice to be reminded sometimes that with stability we don't have to be the enemy, like I so often feel. You are such a great inspiration!!

Thank you everyone for the kind words and encouragement. I'm sorry for those of you that are in the beginning process of treatment, it's hell on both people. Finding the right Pdoc, finding the right meds, and that's after you've humbled yourself into accepting your disorder. How in the hell you BPSO hang in there, I'll never know because my wife isn't BP. But I give y'all all the credit in the world, and if anyone is STRONG...it's y'all.

@sewnup, I 100% agree with you about SO going to appts. because we are sometimes blind to what has been happening since we saw the Pdoc last time. We laugh about it know, but in the beginning of my wife going with me to see my Pdoc, I would DRILL her the whole way on WHAT to say, what NOT to say and to say everything we had been over before we went. In other words, go in their and lie, tell them I'm fine or just need something for anxiety, and leave. He wasn't getting a chance to see or hear about the REAL me. I thought he would wanna commit me or knock me out with some Haldol, as other Pdocs have done in the past, but once I was honest and let her tell her side as well,no secrets, I was able to get stable. Yes he told me a few things were going to have to change which I wasn't to thrilled about, other than that, 2nd best Pdoc I've ever had. And I've had at least 10 not including being in the hospital...shrinks. I had to shop around and be patient, which is my worst virtue lol!

Hang in there all of you going through this process, and please don't focus so much on your BPS that you forget about yourselves. This can be a long hard FIGHT to find the right Pdoc and meds....Trust me, I know it's hard, but try your best to be patient. I have so much info I'd like to throw at y'all, but sometimes my perception is off and I feel I'm overstepping my boundaries. EVERYONE KEEP YOUR HEAD UP...

Jamie

I can only speak for myself but I appreciate your insight a lot! It is very hard for my husband to share what what he is going thru in his mind, not just bp symptoms! The more I can understand the better! I realize everybody is different and it looks diff for individuals. The way I see it if it doesn't apply to my situation..its the internet! I have the power to scroll! Lol. Our group leaders are wise. They are pretty sharp on knowing what is helpful or not. Nothing goes on too long that is not productive. Take ur cues from them.