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02/21/2012 01:04 PM
kalissalea
kalissalea
 
Posts: 618
Member

Oh lord. So after a couple of weeks of not hearing from him...I get a call today from him at work that he has some "bad news." He was arrested yesterday, and put in jail! Apparently he's been smoking weed at his new place with people, and his landlord did not take too kindly to it. The police showed up with a warrant, and arrested him.

Good news, the media reported him arrested at his "home," and gave the address of his rental...so people won't necessarily associate me with it unless they are aware that he left me. He has a lawyer, and my MIL is paying for it (which I'm ashamed to say makes me smile a little). He was suspended with pay from his job, and it's anyone's guess if he will get to keep it.

What blows me away most...he is still in denial! Minimizing, not wanting to face the bigger picture. Trying to protect the people in his life that are contibuting to the bad behavior. Unreal.

I'm faxing in the listing agreement on the house right now. Either way, my plans have not changed...I'm doing what is best for me. Hopefully he starts doing what is best for him.

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02/21/2012 01:07 PM  Top
wifeonbpexpress
wifeonbpexpress
 
Posts: 4890
VIP Member

Doesn't surprise me.
You are worthy of respect, love, and empathy. Choose life, find your joy, find your passion.

Please see a licensed counselor for professional direction. All I can provide is my best advice.

Previous discussions I participated in:
Who are YOU???
Tomorrow...
Tell us about your pets!

02/21/2012 01:18 PM  Top
Kitkat777
Kitkat777
 
Posts: 954
Member

Weed seems to be rampant with BP.

Glad you are keeping strong! Inspiring.

I'm here to learn, to define and set my boundaries, and to support other spouses/SOs

Be the leader in your home.

Previous discussions I participated in:
Tell us about your pets!
Lost
hearing voices......again

02/21/2012 01:34 PM  Top
ridingthewaves
ridingthewavesPosts: 1390
Senior Member

I think you have a good attitude. Keep doing what is best for you.

I would hope that this arrest and possible loss of his job would help him to "see the light" but for some (my SO is one) that isn't enough. Each person has their own bottom, unfortunetly he has a lot of help to keep him from hitting that bottom.

I wish it would have been suspended WITHOUT pay... that might have helped.

Remember, if he wants to smoke weed, fly over the chcken coop, whatever, i isn't a reflection on you. He is his own person. Try not to think of what people will think about you.


02/21/2012 02:13 PM  Top
lollipop
lollipop
 
Posts: 4110
Group Leader

Change the words to the Carpenter's song "We've Only Just Begun" to...."He's Only Just Begun".....................Wink
YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!!!! IF I DID...ANYONE CAN.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Lewis B. Smedes

I am not a doctor, my advice is purely my opinion.

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Discouraged
Husband and Rehab

02/21/2012 02:16 PM  Top
hopefulcb
hopefulcb
 
Posts: 3254
Group Leader

It sounds like your MIL is going to be his demise. If they would just wake up and smell he has bipolar, but as long as they keep bailing him out of these jams, he won't hit bottom. I am glad you are doing what is best for you, it sounds like you have no choice right now since no one is looking out for you. I am surprised he even called you, no I take that back, I am not surprised at all.....lol
It isn't my husband's fault he has an illness. It is his responsibility on how he treats it so he doesn't hurt others or himself in the midst of it.

My opinion, is just that, I am here to share my experience, strength and hope to those whose lives have been affected by this disorder :)

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown

Previous discussions I participated in:
Who are YOU???
Tomorrow...
Discouraged

02/21/2012 04:10 PM  Top
justhurt
justhurt
 
Posts: 409
Member

Toast....

Sorry , had to say it.

Justhurt

- The only way out is through.

I am not qualified to give out professional advice, please see a doctor or counselor if you need professional help.

02/21/2012 04:35 PM  Top
kalissalea
kalissalea
 
Posts: 618
Member

I know I shouldn't be shocked, but I constantly am by the poor choices. I wouldn't be suprised if my in-laws still blame me for it somehow. I also found out his Psychiatrist (the new one) dropped him as a patient due to failure to attend his last appointment (probably more like failure to be honest). He also dropped his Psycologist and is seeing a new one. He really cannot face his own behavior, and the series of events that have unfolded over the last year. I fear you are right...he has only just begun...

He has lost his home, wife, committed adultry, been to the ER and so many doctors I've lost count, been arrested, and may loose his career now as well....and blown lots of money in the process. It's like life is just one big party for him...he screws something up, then moves on to the next thing without learning from the mistake. Ignore it...pretend it didn't happen...and keep busy so you never think about it again.


02/21/2012 04:45 PM  Top
chelle005
chelle005Posts: 1921
VIP Member

How much weed does one have to have to get a search warrant and to be arrested. My guess is a lot. Sorry but maybe this will help.

02/21/2012 04:50 PM  Top
kalissalea
kalissalea
 
Posts: 618
Member

I was wondering about that too. I doubt I got the full story...if I'm lucky some of it was the truth. He is living in his own reality, which may not be the same one you and I are living in.
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