Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Tomorrow (well, in a few hours...I will be a zombie tomorrow), my husband goes to his first neurologist's appointment.

He feels he has cognitive impairment that results from the severe depressive episode he had this summer. His MD and the psychiatrist he was seeing at the time and I all tried to tell him that a major bipolar depression can have major short term affects on his cognition and creativity and that he needed to give it time.

But he is impatient.

His impatience led to a lot of anxiety. He got anxious about even leaving the house! At that point, I insisted he switch pdocs (his old one was just going to prescribe MORE meds, not adjust meds....and when I said to this Dougie Howser on the phone: "So we are adding Agoraphobia to his diagnoses now instead of trying to be proactive?" Dougie said: "There are good meds for agoraphobia") and I helped him beg his MD for a neurologist appointment. We live in the Boston area, so there are no shortage of docs and hospitals, but the earliest appointment he could get was four months away.

So here we are. His appointment is in a few hours.

I am very anxious, myself, about this appointment. I cannot go with him because of work. I fear that the neurologist might dismiss his concerns because of the bipolar diagnosis. I fear that the neuro could find some brain lesions that account for my husband's perceived impaired cognition. (What then? If the damage is done???) I fear there could be some worse and more dreadful thing going on...

Mostly I fear that my husband will not find answers that will help him recover fully from this precipitous slide down. The new pdoc (which he hasn't SEEN yet--that appointment, with a BP specialist, took longer to get....he has only seen interns/residents in the new pdoc's practice...) changed his meds completely, and thank you, these new meds did lift his depression. His perception of cognitive impairment remains.

Well, that was rambling and if you can follow all my parentheses, you are good at puzzles, but I am just so worried about this.

Dont worry Married, I think the appointment will accomplish what you are looking for. I dont think the doctors will dismiss your husbands concerns because of bp, they didnt when my mom went this month. The doctors thought she had parkinsons symptoms, but it turned out one of the meds she was taking for bp was causing them.

I pray everything will be fine, and I am sure it is.

Married, you remember that my hubby had to go see a Neuropsychologist. They eventually said that my husband was cognitively higher than most adults, even though my husband was experiencing some memory loss do to the manic episode. It puzzled me because I thought surely they would find something. He was acting so differently than his norm. But I believe that by THEM telling my husband he was not damaged, but just needed time to heal; it helped him to gain a little self-confidence in being able to think and work and make some decisions when necessary. Up until then, he REALLY was having some confidence/esteem problems. He didn't trust his judgement. My husband was worried because he wasn't functioning on the same level he always had before, but they told him this, "Even though you aren't functioning at the level YOU are accustomed to, you are still functioning at a higher level than most adults."

Hopefully, there won't be anything physical they will find and perhaps they will be able to encourage your husband and make him feel better about himself. If there IS something physically wrong, I hope they find it.

Take care and keep us posted!

Before we worry, let's see what happens. That's coming from a chronic worrier! It's going to be ok, married. If he was having cognitive difficulties, how did he wow them at that interview last week?

Whatever happens, I'm here for you, friend...

I know these things are so hard NOT to worry about. But really, what good is it going to do us? Ok so that being said, try not to worry, but I totally understand why you ARE worried. Plus not being able to be there, that would up my nervousness as well.

I really hope that there is nothing wrong with him, and that this appointment helps to ease his anxiety about if he has cognitive impairment. Hopefully, like Lolli's husband, it will be the reassurance that he needs to move on.

If not, remember, knowledge is power.

Hang in there married! Extra caffeine today to stay awake Let us know how he turns out. Sayin' a prayer for Mr. Married today. and Mrs.

Positive thoughts for you, Married and Mr. Married. Update us when you can!

Wornout2!!!!!! I have missed you!!!!! Get a smart phone or something, girlfriend, so you can come on here more often!!!! (Or maybe you are just too busy with those wonderful kids of yours.)

The neurologist spent close to five hours testing him today. He had to fill out all kinds of things--the mental health assessment, a personality thingee, and did a 700 page test of cognition (on-line). He also was tested verbally by a grad student on memory and other things.

BUT...it will be several weeks before he has the appointment to discuss the results! He does feel better now, though. As another piece of evidence that he misses things he shouldn't, all of the data assembled--the tests and the results--are also going to be copied for his new pdoc (mid-Feb appointment!! A real bipolar specialist!). So they are all working together. (He was under the impression that his regular MD was the main referring/reporting doctor for these tests. No. The MD just set him up with the appt and got him in as a patient with the new pdoc.)

Oh, the wonderful waiting game...NOT, I am glad he feels better though, just to get it done is an accomplishment in itself.

700 pages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has to be strong to go through that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'd probably give up after page 27! How did he even do that? 700 pages?! He should be feeling pretty good about getting through that!

Now we wait...