Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Hi Everyone,

I started back to work - so I have been busy and not posting - but, I can see that I need to stay connected because I can feel myself upset again.

I have read and read and read posts by you all.

I think I am still in a state of denial, or confusion, or fear. Maybe all three with some anger thrown in.

When hubs quit all the meds - Trileptal, Abilify, Wellbutrin and Naltrexone - can that put you in a mania? Or, only in a hypomania? Or, only in a hypersexual state?

I have asked this question several times - I know, I am a broken record - but, I am still upset that he did not stop his behavior - and i am wondering still - could he not stop?

Thank you!!!

Short answer: Yes

Why?: Because he is mentally ill and bipolar

There is no cure, only management. It will always be coursing through his mind, in balance, with medication.

Hypersexuality is a RESULT of hypomania/mania. When someone is hypomanic they are not always hypersexual and it may not always be present even though it was present the last time the person was hypomanic. It is a tendency and a symptom.

I am sorry you are feeling so anxious. Having your husband elevate into a hypomania, no matter the trigger or result, must be frightening.

Can I ask why? What about it upsets you so much? I know we share different visions on sexuality. Does he know that you feel so anxious about his behavior? Does he correlate his behavior with any harm or intent to hurt you? Do you?

Just remind yourself that today is not yesterday and today will not be tomorrow. Context and motive matters - he does not intend or want to behave that way and does not want to hurt you. Take confidence and faith in that.

-justhurt.

I agree with just_hurt that you must try to "stay" in the moment. When our mind drifts back over the hurts and pains and knowledge of the dissapointing behavior of our spouses when they act out during mania, it causes us even that much MORE pain. We have to try and stop the thoughts at the very beginning. Just this morning, I've had a crazy, go down that "road one more time", revisited painful/stupid thoughts, ran back over all the garbage of last year's mania, then in my mind were questions, questions, questions....if he lied once, or 50 times...will he lie 100? Ilovemckenzie, the different stages we go through in getting over infidelity, whether it be physical, cyber, pornography, telephone sex, or even emotional infidelity is very difficult for the other person to get over. It takes alot of time. It is a journey and it is a long one. It takes some of us longer to recover. It has me. I'm doing alot better, but like I said, today is not a good one for me.

I think the hurt, the disappointment, and the anger are all normal, so rest in that knowledge.

Quitting all meds definitely can send someone into a manic state. (Hypomania usually precedes mania...it is like Mania Lite...well, that is oversimplistic, but not all that inaccurate.) Have you done reading on what hypomania and mania look like?

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/hypomania-mania- symptoms

You should have seen some symptoms besides hypersexuality, so it would be good to know what to look for. Also, think back---preceding this episode, how was he sleeping? My guess is that he was not getting a good night's sleep many a night. Disruptions in sleep schedule over a few nights? My husband will then use his Ativan (other people will take a sleep med or another as needed med) to ensure he sleeps well. Too many nights without good sleep and you get hypomania for sure, then mania...