Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

I just found this forum and already appreciate it. Just by reading other discussions. I'm a 34/F and have been married for 15 years to someone who suffers from Bipolar II. Until now I have been dealing with this alone. Very few people understand as far as friends & family. Virtually NO support groups for spouses (that anyone shows up for) & all in all I usually just work thru it. Now however I am... somewhat exhausted, best way to say it. Still very much in love & not considering anything drastic, just exhausted. I run a small contracting company but am currently considering finishing (or rather just starting, only finished semester before I got married) my degree in Dental hygiene, just for the job security, benefits & the ability to move anywhere & get a job. This of course would be a major change which terrifies me because of all the speratic "changes" that occurr in everyday life as a spouse of someone who suffers from Bipolar. My hubby is leaps & bounds from where he was 2 years ago, 5 years ago, and so on. Very incremental, but he works his ass off at his recovery. So very proud of the courage & perseverance he has shown. Even now 15 yrs later he still has swings, but much less severe, and less destructive. But as I'm sure most if not all of you understand, the rug can be pulled from under your feet @ ANY moment, much the same way they feel as well! So scared that after I make an investment if time & money into getting my degree something will happen. Can I run the business, care for hubby, care for dogs, take care of home AND go to school, even if only for 2 years.

Hi PartOfLife,

Yes, you probably can do all of those things. I did it myself only for 4 years toward my graphic design degree. I only went to school part time though. It was a lot more manageable that way. I worked 2 part time jobs, had my young daughter, one dog, two cats, and my bf who I didn't know was bp. (neither did he) He was dealing with a stressful situation with his son's mother during that time. He did really well, I think because he knew he had to. It sounds like your husband is really committed to his stability, so all the better for your plans. I think as long as he stays on top of his moods and handles things like he has been, there is no reason to expect a major episode. I think those can be avoided and downgraded to minor episodes when a person is stable. But, it there is a major one, you will just take it a day at a time, right? I really think you should always do things to improve your chances of supporting yourself and possibly the both of you. Go for it! We are always here to support you!

You sound pretty positive about your whole situation. That is so wonderful your husband has been so persistent with his recovery! Personally, to do all of that sounds overwhelming to me, and I wouldn't do it because I know my limits, but.....

You, on the other hand can do it! Wifeonbp did.....go for it!

I think it's great that your husband is getting better and better...even if it has been a gradual and slow progression. If you feel like you can juggle things, I say go for it! Your desire to accomplish it will be your fuel! Take care. Keep posting and WELCOME!

Welcome Partoflife! It sounds like he's making steady progress, but it will always be there. Can you do all the things you juggle? Yes, you can! I went back to school part-time while working full-time, taking care of 2 teens, a house, and (at the time) an unmedicated husband. Was it hard? Yes. Was it worth it? Definitely! I found that going to school gave me a breather from the routine, and I benefitted from the structure of a classroom and learning new things. I say go for it, too.

I feel the same way go do your thang. It's nice to have something else to let your mind run with. My education is continuous being in the electronics field and more often than not a stress reliever. Sometimes I have to do everything too it's part of being in a BP relationship. The lows happen and we step up. Bad mood swings happen and we step up. Ya do what ya gotta do and be happy. Damn just re read my last and I sound looney. Oh well I've always been driven in life never been able to sit on the sidelines too long.

I felt the same way when I was in school, too. It was my sanctuary, my place away from the chaos of work and home. As long as what you are studying is your passion, it should be a joy for you to learn about it. Even if it takes longer than the 2 years, it will be worth it in the end.

I'm planning to do it next year! All my paperwork is in. Feel free to PM me anytime. It may turn out to be really hard, but I know it will make me happy and proud of myself!