Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Ok, so I have a question.

I know that mixing alcohol with mood stabilizing meds is a horrible idea, b/c it can decrease the effectiveness of the meds and/or increase the effects of the alcohol.

But in addition to that,it seems to me that drinking is a trigger for my husband's mania, or at least seems to make it worse, and that was the case before he was on any meds. But of course, his drinking escalates dramatically when he's manic, so it's hard to tell what is causing what.

Has anyone else had the same experience? And if so, is that the case with any drinking at all, or just excessive drinking? I guess what I'm really curious about is whether it is possible for a person with BP to stay stable if they drink socially?

I don't believe that it is, at least not for my BPS, but then, he's clearly addicted, so drinking in moderation isn't really the issue, but I'm wondering if there are people with BP that can safely have a couple of drinks once or twice a week without any negative effect on their overall stability.

My husband's pdoc actually gave him permission to have 2 beers a week while on lithium. I did not condone that, but at that time, I was not allowed at the appts. I just think it is too hard for most people to keep it to 1 or 2 and who knows what it does to the effectiveness of the mood stabilizers? I just think it's flirting with disaster to even go there. I pretty much quit drinking when he was told to quit completely. I never drank much anyway, maybe a beer or glass of wine once in a while. But it has made a big difference for him that I am making "sacrifices" as well. He will occasionally tell me I should have a drink if we're out. Sometimes I do, but most of the time I don't. Of course, right now, he is legally not allowed in a drinking establishment per his probation.

I've heard that some people can drink a little while on the meds. My husband use to drink like a fish in college and when he was younger. By the time he was in late 20's and an officer in the military, he drank only a little every now, socially. He wasn't diagnosed bipolar then, but in retrospect my husband says he feels he has been bipolar since college and tried to cope with the feelings through self-medicating with alcohol. My husband is more of a Coca Cola drinker, but would drink a beer or something maybe once or twice a year.

However.... Last year when my husband had his full blown manic episode he started drinking and partying right in our computer room on facebook....whoopie!!!! He was nuttier than a fruitcake and was even putting Beer on my grocery list to pick some up for him....one night he even ran out the door at 10:30 for some more beer...gettin' low!!! He was drinking like he use to do in college, etc. It was very sudden. And after the manic episode subsided....he stopped just as suddenly. No one made him. He just didn't desire it anymore. Maybe he'll have one or two this year. Who knows. But I definitely have added "acts like an alchy" to my husband's manic symptoms "to watch for" when he may be going into mania. It was the dardest thing. One day he didn't and the next day he did...ALOT. So, some people can drink a little, but like wife said, they may be flirting with danger. Once that mania starts, no matter what the trigger is, it may be difficult to get our loved one to actively participate in their med therapy designed to help "bring them back down" out of mania. And then all kinds of manic actions can happen, as we well know.

Frustr8d, I see you have gotten a few replies around MDJ that suggest there can be social drinking while on SOME psych meds. Hmm. Maybe. Our godson's mom is bipolar and she drinks socially--but occasionally. Maybe a couple times a month. And two drinks is her minimum.

Here is the problem for many bipolar people who are not diagnosed in their 20s. They self-medicate with alcohol. I saw somebody talked about not stopping drinking till "Last Call." When my undiagnosed husband would drink (I should have been a bit wary---when I met him he was sober. No drinking. And he had done it without AA. Hmmm. Well, the stress of marrying and having his son (my step-son) move in with his new wife when step-son was a troubled 14 year old meant my husband started drinking again. Not every night. But he would often drink to oblivion. OMG. I was WAY too passive when this started, I think because I was in shock. He once picked me up at my workplace so obviously drunk that it is a miracle he didn't injure himself, anyone else, or the car. He did not make it out of the parking lot before I screamed at him to stop the car. I drove the rest of the way home. He, the drunken fool, was telling me I was "way too uptight."

He gave up alcohol when he was given a speeding ticket going 90 MPH (he had gone Walkabout with our only car....bad bad times) and it was only by the grace of God that they didn't breathalize him.

Now, he describes himself as an alcoholic. I NEVER drink around him now. And if he ever brought alcohol into the house again?

I would either hospitalize him (because it will mean he is out of his ever-loving mind) or kick him out.

It sounds like your husband is unable to drink two drinks. So that means he can never be a moderate drinker. When my husband is asked about his alcoholism, he says "I love it, dude, but when I start I can't stop." If your husband is like that? He cannot be a moderate drinker.

A final consideration: a psychiatrist cannot figure out what meds to put someone on if they are not stable during the whole "getting the meds right" period. We were told by one of the best psych hospitals in the nation that he could do NO drugs for that initial period. No over the counter pain meds or cough syrups, no drinking, no pot, and even a very very limited amount of caffeine. They needed to see what his body and mind would do on the psych meds without any interference.

Post edited by: marriedtoit, at: 05/18/2011 08:48 PM