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WornOut2 Posts: 1387
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We left for a week's vacation "up north" at our vacation home yesterday. So far, I would say that we are off to a pretty rough start. This is hubby's place to find peace and sanity. Or, at least it used to be. So far, he has been exhibiting symptoms of hypomania and he is driving ME crazy. He's been demanding, snarky, argumentative and cranky. He has managed to alienate both of our kids (15 & 13) and they have hibernated in their room all day except for food and bathroom breaks. The kids are DYING to go somewhere other than here for a few days. I can't imagine him agreeing - or being decent company if he did agree. Makes me want to rent a car and take off without him. I could use the break. Apparently, so could the kids. Sheesh! |
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wifeonbpexpress Posts: 4890
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Why don't you? He would probably appreciate the quiet and you and the kids would probably have a heck of a lot more fun away from him if he's acting this way. It's a vacation after all. You are worthy of respect, love, and empathy. Choose life, find your joy, find your passion.
Please see a licensed counselor for professional direction. All I can provide is my best advice. |
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WornOut2 Posts: 1387
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Honestly? Because I think that the suggestion would be so negatively received that it would precipitate an episode. |
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wifeonbpexpress Posts: 4890
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Well what's he so argumentative about? When my husband gets that way, I scram. If he has an episode, he's having it alone. Yesterday, I just couldn't get away fast enough. You are worthy of respect, love, and empathy. Choose life, find your joy, find your passion.
Please see a licensed counselor for professional direction. All I can provide is my best advice. |
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lollipop Posts: 4110
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WornOut, it's a shame that your hubby is having a hard time right now and it's costing all of you a pleasant vacation. Hopefully, he will calm down a little and things will get better. I understand about you not wanting to make him go off any worse. It's hard to be away from home and your familiar surroundings and have to walk on eggshells. Maybe the kids can suggest the three of you go somewhere if he doesn't want to. Would he receive that any better than if you were the one suggesting it? YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!!!! IF I DID...ANYONE CAN.
Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Lewis B. Smedes
I am not a doctor, my advice is purely my opinion. |
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marriedtoit Posts: 9126
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I think I would risk his anger to get away. But I don't know your husband and what he might do if he is angry. I am so sorry your vacation started out this way. I hope he snaps out of it soon. {{{{{{Wornout}}}}}}} All of my advice is based on experience and reading. I am not a medical doctor, and have never even played one on TV. |
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sallyo  Posts: 3355
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I hope he settles out soon so you can have a good vacation. Could you try going somewhere for even just a few hours with you and the kids? www.sallyosmusings.blogspot.com |
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enoughalready Posts: 1096
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Wornout, I hope you and the kids are able to find some fun things to do with or without him. I know how rough it can be when they are so irritable. Take care God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. |
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behindthemask
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Wornout I can relate to this - i've gotten to the point I don't WANT to go far because we would be trapped with him  If we stay home the kids can go play with friends. We have gone to some awesome places, but was miserable because he was so irritable and negative - Disneyworld, Cancun, cruise, Dominican Republic - hurting people hurt people, i keep thinking, and yes they are sick, but they are hurting too i believe. I don't think my husband remembers how to "chill out" and just have fun  I feel for you - I even told him I don't want to see my parents (in Florida) because it is too stressful with the family - I worry about them fighting or him saying awful things behind their backs to me and the kids - he draws the kids into it. It makes me stressed and I don't need or want that. So I think we just need to stay home - which is kinda sad for the kids... hopefully you can find something to entertain them even if he wants to stay there and pout... Post edited by: behindthemask, at: 04/18/2011 06:48 Post edited by: behindthemask, at: 04/18/2011 06:49 AM |
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WornOut2 Posts: 1387
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So, we talked about it. He doesn't want to go anywhere. "Why isn't being here good enough?" Because we haven't been anywhere BUT "here" for the past two years. The kids have no friends up here, only each other. It has rained almost every day since Saturday. He has rotated his time between smoking cigarettes in the garage (no allowed in the house) and smoking pot in the bedroom. Other than that, he is either searching on ebay for stuff he can't afford to buy or parked in front of the tv. He is adamant about not wanting to stay here alone so I can go off with the kids. So, my options are dragging him with us - which will likely ruin it for the rest of us - or going nowhere. Again. I think I would rather be at home. PS And did I mention that our "vacation home" is the place where we used to escape to find peace and tranquility from the rat race of every day life? That was past tense. We were here when he attempted suicide and ended up in the hospital on a five day civil commitment. I just don't love this place like I used to. It just brings back a lot of painful memories. Post edited by: WornOut2, at: 04/19/2011 08:16 AM |
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