Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Her sister sent me an email.

Tclling me I need to work on my own problems and move on.

That its unacceptable that I don't have a job yet.

That I need to accept my part of the responsibility for my marriage breaking down.

That it was wrong for me to ask her help in watching my wife's mental states.

I just want to yell at her, throw all sorts of stuff in her face it won't help. Her husband is never home, has screwed around multiple times, but he pays the bills so he's the perfect husband. Their mother's marriage is almost exactly the same.

This is the stuff that scares me. Even without my wife's BP I'd have her poisonous support structure working to drive her away from me, and I'm worried that is what is going on now.

I'd tell her to go to h-e-double hockey sticks.

I second that. Unfortunately,other than venting and trying to rise above the nasty comments, I don't see where there is much else you can do .

Block her email address. You don't need to be subjected to that kind of negativity.

I would just concentrate on YOU right now. Family members tend to put all of the blame on others, instead of their own family members. Emotions are working overtime right now, so I wouldn't put too much stock in what others are saying. You need to take care of you, by finding a good job to support yourself, staying mentally and physically healthy, and the rest will fall into place.

(((((((((LH)))))))))

I agree with hopeful to the letter.

Some people live in glass houses... I think all her windows are broken.

Ignore her. Ignore all those that infect you with their negativity. Look out for yourself now and try to do what you feel is right.

The heck with the rest of them. Noone can understand it if they haven't lived it.

I'm in favor of sending all inlaws to an island. My husband's family were fairly supportive up until he lost his job in October. Then, because he couldn't find a job immediately, and when he did find one, the schedule was a mess, he was suddenly some kind of lazy idiot. Even now, they are giving him the cold shoulder. I could just do without them. Unfortunately, they live right down the street from me. My move to FL can't come quick enough.

Post edited by: bethb2004, at: 03/07/2011 06:19 PM

Beth, I have the same scenario. My MIL is bp and my father in law thinks it's an excuse. If he could walk in my shoes for one day, he'd realize not only what I've been going through with...his son, but that his son is really trying and doing a good job. And I'm doing all I can to hold everything together financially and emotionally and every other way I can until his son gets a job when he graduates. (I'm a disappointment to him, he said) It's so easy to be judgemental when you have a lot of money, that is, if anyone cares about money that much that they'll disregard the fact that he's being an ass. Thank God they live in GA and FL and I'm up here in WI! Hey, maybe you know them!

His dad said you were a disappointment?