Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

I am looking for idea's from people who's BPSO's don't work. I work full time 8-6 mon-fri and my SO is by himself that time. We don't have any family around here for the most part. What does your SO who don't work do all day while you are at work? When there are things for him to do he seems to have a better attitude, mood, etc.

Post edited by: ridingthewaves, at: 03/03/2011 09:13 AM

Would he be able or willing to volunteer for a couple hours a few times a week? Would he audit a class? A friend of mine got a couple dogs and that has made all the difference for him. He has bp, is on disability, and taking those dogs to the dog park, walking them, letting them out, keeps him busy and happy all day. If your husband doesn't like leaving the house, maybe there is a project he could work on from home. He could write encouraging letters to servicemen, or some other volunteer activity possibly for your church or school. Just some ideas!

Hmmm my wife keeps herself occupied during the day. I work mon.-thu. 6:30 to 5:00 so she takes care of the house shopping gets the bills ready for me to sign and mail out. She has a gym membership and works out an hour a day then uses their tanning bed and comes home. If it gets too boring she can dirve an hour and visit her family. Sometimes she'll find some place to voulenteer her time as long as it's low stress. My wife has hobbies like her creative writing which is amazing no matter what her mood is at the time she makes jewelry and is a pretty good artist.

I agree with Wife, volunteer work is a great place to start. My boyfriend is starting to volunteer at NAMI.

My BPSO doesn't work, either. He is on disability. That has been such a big problem for him. We have yet to find an answer. I have tried my best to get him to volunteer or get involved in church projects. He wants to start online classes. I believe a lot of his depression comes from the fact that I work full-time and he doesn't feel that he contributes as much as he should. He is no good at housework, yardwork, etc. It's very frustrating. I will look into NAMI, Mikata. I told him that he needs some interaction with people. Right now he sits on FaceBook all day long playing poker. What a life....

Wife, its funny you said that about dogs. We just got a puppy in February, when we already had two dogs, it is keeping my husband real busy. He says he forgot how much work a puppy is. Between the house, the kids, the puppy and dogs, he is busy.

We rent and can't have a pet

Thanks for all the good idea's!. He has talked about volunteering. He is afraid that people won't want him to volunteer there because of his criminal past and/or bipolar. I told him that they would appreciate the help. They would right? I attended a NAMI family-to-family class, which BTW I would highly recommend each of you to attend. It gave me so much insight to the lovely world of mental illness. I told him about the NAMI support groups but he isn't interested. I think he has the wrong idea that it is going to be a bunch of "really" mentally ill "wierdos" crying around (again his thoughts, hope I don't offend anyone)

We have a dog. We have discussed getting another puppy but I haven't pushed it because what if he decides to disappear, I don't want to work full time AND have a new puppy! I would never tell him that but it's the truth!

We have talked about getting a gym membership. I think I need to take the plunge and just buy it. It would be good for both of us.

innerglow: I understand the frustration. Thats why I asked My SO hardly talks to anyone other than me. He has started a couple of "friendships" with women because of the no interaction piece. I would like to occupy his time in productive ways! Would your SO go to a gym and work out? Also in my city there is a website that lists all of the available volunteer options. So even though he wouldn't want to do most stuff I can search by things that he would be interested in. Maybe worth looking into. Also look into NAMI they have been wonderful for me.

My husband is also on disability, and he does get bored. Right now he's frustrated because he can't find a part-time job. Anyway, to keep himself busy he takes the dogs for walks, works around the house and yard, and goes to the gym. The gym is really his lifeline to sanity because he's a long-time member and has friends there who understand him and work around his moods, and he likes being fit and healthy. I would strongly recommend going that way, as well as volunteering with a group that he's interested in working with. Good luck!