Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships

Met my husband's counselor yesterday. He's one of those stereotypical psychologist types. Older, gray beard, glasses on his nose, has a clipboard that looks like a hospital chart, dark office dimly lit. He asked few questions, but listened very intently. He was very interested in the fact that we had a fabulous day on that Friday and the next day was "shit". (says it like it is, I like that) He focused on the fact that Bob is having very vivid and frightening dreams, screaming out in the night, panting in a frightened way like he's being chased. He wants me to document the dreams if I can by waking him up from the dream and asking him a little bit about it. Funny, but he had two more dreams like that again last night. Yelling out, terror in his voice. I woke him up and he said something about cops having him in custody and trying to tell them that a plane was going to crash and they were all laughing at him. The other one was about drowning and not being able to breathe. Pretty awful, I think. I'm curious as to what the dr. is going to do with the information.

Wow, wife, that does sound scary as far as the dreams your husband is having. I'm am very glad that you have a counselor for him that seems to genuinely care about what is going on with him. Hopefully, he will be able to build a trusting relationship with your husband. Maybe your husband will really listen and take to heart everything he tells him. Hang in there!!! And keep posting about everything you find out. I learn from others counseling and pdoc visits. It is so helpful to share these things. That's why I always tell what went on in my husband's sessions. It is therapeutic for me but at the same time, I'm hoping everyone in this forum can learn more, as well. Love ya! Laura

Oh, me too, lolli. I am hungry to learn about what people find out in their counseling sessions. I was so pleased with Bob's counselor yesterday. Bob has told me that he really feels good about this guy and feels they have a mutual respect, so that is big!

One other thing that he was interested in was Bob's relationship with my older daughter. After listening to both of us discuss our thoughts on the subject, he said, "from listening to what you have both said about this family dynamic you have together, I can see that there is a lot of hurt" It sounds simple, but identifying our "family dynamic" as one of hurt just struck me. I wish we could work this out with my daughter, but she is so deep into not dealing with him at all, that I fear she won't be able to deal with her hurt until she is an older adult with some maturity behind her. Right now, just turning 18, she is bitter about him and really would just rather focus on the fact that she will be moving out when she graduates in the spring. It's sad for me. I feel like I'm in the middle of this and no matter what I do, I can't make it better. I've actually been able to make an impact on her at times as far as understanding bp. But that only lasts until his next episode. She won't understand the nature of bp is the repeated episodes until the meds can stabilize his moods. I don't blame her, but it brings a lot of sadness, pain and guilt onto me. Talking to Bob, the adult, is actually more difficult right now because he isn't stable. Last night he was all upset because her boyfriend didn't say hello to him in response to his greeting. He dealt with it better than usual by going upstairs, smoking his e-cig, and doing his breathing. That is worlds better than the usual scenario.

I can't wait for your neuro appt.! It just feels like we all benefit from the information you find out. I so appreciate you sharing, too!! Love ya too, lolli!

Brought this discussion back to the top of the pile because I was interested in other people's experiences with dreams. Do any of your therapists make mention of dreams being important for insight into what's going on with behavior while awake? (does that make sense?)

Bringing this back up to the top again. Any input?

First off, I have to say that Wife has a way with words! She just really captivated me here! Yes yes yes, I will go back and deal with what she has to say in second.

Dreams: my husband's therapy team (we were in the Gold Star Mental Health treatment then...) did indeed want to know about his dreams. But not for his bipolar. They wanted to know about his dreams because of his PTSD.

I will ask my husband, but he has never mentioned the dr asking about dreams and it was never asked when I went to the appt.

Hopeful

I don't know if my husband's pdoc has asked about dreams, but he has nightmares when he's cycling through his mood swings. They can be awful, and then he gets depressed and moody. It's one of the clues that he's not doing well.

That's interesting Sally. I'm tracking his dreams now, trying to write down what they're about if possible. I note if he's screaming and yelling etc. This is intriguing to me. I'm wondering what he's going to do with the information. I like this guy!