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05/02/2012 01:52 PM

its been 200 days and omg waiting

heatherj78
heatherj78Posts: 1673
Senior Member

Dear God please help me with the anxiety. I know how ya'll feel. It feels like my chest is caving in and im having a heart attack. i dont hardly eat anymore bc the anixety, the depression doesnt help either or the pain. lol. today is 200 days since i first applied in october. i had my physical ce in feb and a mental ce on april 26. i call my lady from ssdi almost every week to give her an update on my doctor apts for that week. this is a rare week though where i have no apts...but i had surgery on my left ear friday so that makes up for it. haha. im praying and praying that i get approved bc it would be a huge burden and anxiety lifted off of me...but i also know the reality that the chances of being approved on initial are very small...but my God is bigger. Smile I don't know what the decision will be but I won't give up fighting for what I need. I know I can't work. This site has helped me so much with questions and with staying somewhat sane while going through this. I enjoy reading what ya'll post and thank you guys for helping me with my questions. Smile GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!! ~hugs~ Heather Ann
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05/02/2012 04:23 PM
cwooters73
cwooters73  
Posts: 37
Member

Praying for you Heather! It is a long road to the end and seems like alot of bumps along the way...

05/02/2012 04:54 PM
aprilaidan
Posts: 241
Member

Heather,

I hope you are feeling better.


05/04/2012 06:51 AM
heatherj78
heatherj78Posts: 1673
Senior Member

Thank you both very much. I just keep praying..all I can do. Pray and go to doctor apts. I also was given a new diagnosis by the pain clinic last week - osteoarthritis hip/thigh. ive also been going more to the chiro bc my shin splints are so bad. of course i dont run anymore, i can hardly walk. my chiro says bc i have to adjust my posture so much just to walk its putting added pressure causing shin splints, even when im laying down. sucks. I just keep praying that God give me grace to go through this and keep going through it as long as I'm supposed to.

so current diagnosis are -

lumbar ddd (surgery hasnt helped at all-still pain), (dx by pain doctor & neurosurgeon)

osteoarthritis (degenerative arthritis) of pelvis (dx pain doc)

si joint disfunction with widening of left si joint (dx by orthopedic doctor)

depression (dx since 1996 and current dx by my regular psychiatrist)

right knee bursitis (dx in 2009 by ortho)

right hip bursitis (dx 2011 by ortho) both seem chronic

tachycardia (dx cardilogist and gp)

anxiety (dx since 1996 and every doctor ive seen has diagnosed it including my psych, endo and gp)

fibromyalgia (diagnosed rhumy)

chronic fatigue (dx by endo)

ibs (dx gastro and endo)

rupture eardrums w/ dizziness/roaring/ringing (had surgery on left one friday. we shall see if it works) (dx for years by ear nose and throat docs)

borderline personality disorder (dx 1996 in mental clinic)

i think thats it! lol. and april im soooooo happy for your approval. Smile

Post edited by: heatherj78, at: 05/04/2012 06:55 AM

Post edited by: heatherj78, at: 05/04/2012 06:55 AM


05/04/2012 09:05 AM
aprilaidan
Posts: 241
Member

Heather,

Thanks so much - I think you will be approved, you have a lot of medical evidence. You are doing everything right and you keep going to doctors for treatment.


05/04/2012 11:48 AM
wolfmanpark
wolfmanpark  
Posts: 2721
VIP Member

My goodness 346 days for me and I was downing them damn xanax.

05/04/2012 01:20 PM
heatherj78
heatherj78Posts: 1673
Senior Member

april - i hope so. im so desperate to get well that i don't care if i go broke..i can't live like this. im trying.

wolf - if wasnt deathly allergic to xanax/klonopin id be eating them like m&ms. lol. the wait sux.


05/04/2012 07:14 PM
aprilaidan
Posts: 241
Member

What do you take to control pain? I just made a appointment next week for a epidural - so sick of this pain. I hope you feel better.

05/04/2012 07:27 PM
LostInCyberspace12
LostInCyberspace12  
Posts: 9931
Group Leader

Shorterm or intermittent use - benzodiazepines (klonopin, xanax, ativan, etc.) are wonderful meds.

Longterm, chronic use - avoid at at costs if possible. Benzos are a catch 22. A bad heroin addiction is less painful than a bad addiction to xanax.

Heroin w/d = 2-3 weeks of hell then relief.

Xanax w/d = 2-3 years of hell and then possibly relief.

No kidding!


05/05/2012 05:33 AM
heatherj78
heatherj78Posts: 1673
Senior Member

april - i have nothing to control pain. anti inflammatories, toridol, advil, pain injections - nothing helps. i do take percocet from time to time but it makes me sick along with other pain meds. i honestly just suffer most everyday without relief. i wish i were exagerating, but im not. the pain injections help for up to 8 hours while the numbing meds are working. after the numb wears off, im back in pain. but i cherish those 8 hours. i still get adjusted by my former boss/chiro..but yesterday he about gave up bc it upsets him seeing he cant help me. yes april - i too am sick of this pain! lol

lostincyberspace - i am allergic to all benzos. my GP unfortunately neglected to see this last september and perscribed me klonopin. i didnt know what it was. i took it and within a week i had lost my mind. it got worse when my former endo tripled my dosage bc she didnt look at my allergies either. i tired multiple times to kill myself. i slung tables and chairs and cursed even at my dying dad. i lost my mind. both those docs wrote me off as being crazy instead of looking at why i was suddenly nuts...and sent me to a psychiatrist(who i love!). i discovered 2 days before that apt that it was the klonopin and tried to just stop taking it..and had seizures. i explained this to the psych and he was kinda shocked of the neglegence of the doctors. i weined myself off and am not so crazy... but still as depressed and full of anxiety. but i dont throw chairs or curse folks! lol. i have to live with the scars on my body from where i took sharp metal and carved words all over my arms and on my chest. i can still read it. it sux but i lived. when i read what your thingy says about benzos i totally understand. i think thats why so many folks are crazy...its the meds.

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