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09/19/2009 04:12 AM

anxiety is tough when no one belives...(page 3)

alcoholicpothead
alcoholicpotheadPosts: 21
Member

oh shit sorry pats didn't hear your story, that is fucken stupid...but i still wouldn't say sum1 has it in 4 u or is out to get u...but ya the mediator is just really strict...I dunno what's goin on here but I haven't felt any support or understanding
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09/19/2009 04:18 AM
alcoholicpothead
alcoholicpotheadPosts: 21
Member

I hear ya bud...we're all addicts here and I'm just lookin 4 support/guidance n knowledge about how to get sober....I don't know about every1's reading comprehension here but I don't give a fuck i luv ya pats and although I don't know your history here know1 that is reaching out for help should be denied it, especially in a place where we all can relate and we're all brothers
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09/19/2009 04:22 AM
alcoholicpothead
alcoholicpotheadPosts: 21
Member

lol I doubt that...but honestly I need support, I can't stop drinking on my own or stop doin drugs...I'm not big on 12 step meetings but I guess w/e works...but it would be nice just 4 sum1 with the same problem to hold u accountable for ur actions or promises or w/e
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09/19/2009 04:24 AM
alcoholicpothead
alcoholicpotheadPosts: 21
Member

sorry I doubt that was in response to "I think u have your act together"
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09/19/2009 05:14 AM
alcoholicpothead
alcoholicpotheadPosts: 21
Member

don't fuken give up man!!!!!! u deserve to be treated well...I dunno what to say, I know my psychiatrist told me, "instead of looking at the differences between u and other ppl, try to look at the similiarity's(sp)" Apparently that just makes u feel more isolated and angry
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09/19/2009 05:27 AM
TheGoodAndBad
Posts: 2
Member

i go through spells but it's going away it was really bad for the last year or so

they gave me valiums but I hate them and only take it if I really need them now because they make me feel stupid and i hate the feeling but they do work

also I take GABA, theanine, glutamine and amino acids and since then my anxiety has really gotten much better. Also lots of vitamin B6 and vitamins.

But now I am back on my mood stabilizer and feeling more, well, stable.

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09/19/2009 07:19 AM
sharone
sharone  
Posts: 3449
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Rick: YOU have it in for you! YOU are the one who's messing with yourself, your future, your life. And until you start taking responsibility for your own actions, personally, I don't want anything to do with you from this point forward. You seem very ready to feel sorry for yourself, very ready to blame others and not at all ready to be part of a community. I think you should take a break for a bit, think things through and decide whether or not you are willing to work on your issues. We are not therapists. We come here to support eachother while we each individually work through our issues. We don't deserve anyone's vitriole. And there's no way that either hipmama (can I speak for you?) nor myself are willing/able/interested in repeating ourselves to someone who's not willing to listen. I wish you the best for your future and hope that when you are willing to work on your issues responsibly, you return to MDJ.

alcoholicpothead: Greetings. You're on the social anxiety forum. NOT all of us are addicts. We all have social anxiety. There are other forums for addictions.

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09/19/2009 03:23 PM
hipmama42
hipmama42  
Posts: 939
Senior Member

Well, first of all let me say that it's great to see so much participation on this social anxiety forum after a couple of weeks of not many posts...

I was in the hospital for a week with congestive heart failure, and it was suddenly diagnosed when I was rushed to the hospital on a stretcher for what I thought was a bad asthma attack as a result of bronchitis...only to have it sprung on me out of the blue by an E.R. doctor I'd never met that I was in heart failure! If that doesn't cause anxiety, I don't know what does...then I was admitted to the hospital and told to "stay calm and try to control your stress" when my family at home was in chaos and everything seemed to be falling apart. I was discharged from the hospital knowing that I have not been getting enough oxygen to all the cells in my body because my heart is not pumping out enough blood - less than a third of what is normal - and ordered to take all these heart pills I'd never heard of before, and to change my diet and lifestyle.

For a couple of weeks my personal life was in such disaster and chaos that my stress levels were through the roof from the second I walked through the front door of my house after being discharged from the hospital. It all seemed like a bad dream...then my laptop crashed...it was one thing after another, and I didn't have time to be on mdjunction for awhile - besides, it seemed less important than putting out the fires around me.

A few weeks later, I got a new laptop, getting used to my "new normal" with a bad heart and limited activity at the moment...

and I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things at my own pace.

One thing I am learning is how to prioritize...what is worth worrying about and getting all riled up about and those things that just aren't worth my attention.

I return to mdjunction and this group with a fresh new perspective about social anxiety and life in general...facing your own death will do that...and I find that people who are not wanting help or support should not have it forced down their throats, nor is it any use to argue with them or get myself upset when there is nothing I can do to change their minds anyway...and I risk my health and sanity in trying.

My grandmother used to sing this little ditty to me when I was a child - it's about martyrdom and self-pity and caring too much about what people think of you while insisting on being an outcast...

"nobody likes me...everybody hates me....guess I'll go eat worms.."

that was the verse, I can't remember the rest. lol.

Point is, I think that everyone feels misunderstood and like an outcast who doesn't fit in or belong, especially those of us with social anxiety and other disabilities. When we are members of a support group, we are trying to work on overcoming our natural tendencies to isolate and lash out at the world who seems to shun us. We try to help each other. We share what has worked for us and what hasn't worked. We try to encourage others. None of us are perfect or right all of the time, and I don't think that anyone wants to offend others intentionally. Sometimes we lack the tools and the skills, or we are so into our own heads and inability to control our anger or communicate effectively without lashing out that we need to step back until we are feeling better about ourselves. I know that for me, insisting on being the victim only makes me feel worse, and more of a pariah. Blaming everyone else for the state of my emotions leaves me with no way of helping myself to feel better.

I am not strict as a group leader, I only insist that we are respectful in our comments, and that we not repeat the same thing over and over with no intent of trying to change or listen to what other people have to say. If a person's mind is closed, then perhaps they should not be in a support group until they are ready to be open to all opinions and suggestions. They may need more serious individual intervention, or even hospitalization before they can accept feedback and support from their peers in a forum like this...and if a person is always unhappy about how they are being treated, then perhaps that group is not for them.

The group leader walks a fine line between letting people express their feelings and opinions, the good, the bad, and the ugly, making people feel welcome and comfortable, but at the same time keeping the discussions polite, respectful, and on topic.

Otherwise, discussions can degenerate into name-calling, character attacks, hostility, and hard feelings...not at all what a support group is suppossed to be about.

I want everyone in this group to feel like they belong and are accepted for who they are, warts and all, and for us all to be considerate of others' feelings. There are some major issues that are too large for us to tackle on this site, and we don't know everything. In that case, I will state that this or that issue is beyond my knowledge or ability to comment on...and suggest professional help. We all do the best we can and that is all we can do!

Post edited by: hipmama42, at: 09/19/2009 03:27 PM

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09/19/2009 05:05 PM
hipmama42
hipmama42  
Posts: 939
Senior Member

This forum is not about "taking sides" - it is about recovery from SA!

Luvpats, I would like for you to share with the group just one thing that has helped you cope with social anxiety in some situation you found anxiety-provoking. If you focus on the negative all of the time, there is no chance of ever overcoming SA or learning to handle it better so that it doesn't rule your life and relationships. That is a cold, hard fact...being defensive and angry (and I have been there) builds walls and shuts out all possibility of feeling better.

If a person chooses to nurse their grudges, anger and resentments, then they are welcome to their personal misery, but cannot expect others who are sincerely trying to recover to put up with their hostility and angry accusations. That's just the way it is...here, and in "real life" "out there" - this is a place to practice new skills and internalize new ideas - to make our lives better, more enjoyable, successful, and rewarding. If a person wants to stay stuck in anger and self-pity, that is fine...as long as they don't take it out on other group members, or demand that we all cater to their demands for "taking their side" when that is not what our site is about....

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09/19/2009 05:38 PM
sharone
sharone  
Posts: 3449
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Now you are pissed off. What do you do about it?
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