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04/11/2012 01:15 PM

New Please Help me :(

ceggers68
ceggers68  
Posts: 12
Member

Hi, my name is Cynthia - I don't know if I'm in the right place. I feel like I'm caged by my phobia. I can't make phone calls. Literally, I can't. I have horrible panic attacks and have lost business opportunities and friends and relationships because of this. My family thinks I'm either making it up and/or crazy, and I feel so ashamed about this, but the panic is so severe that I will do anything to avoid calling someone or receiving calls. I'm at my wit's end because I don't have a relationship right now and have very very few friends because of this and I'm so lonely that I'm in a very deep depression, but when I try to call someone, I hit a huge panic attack wall that I can't get past. I can analyze the whys and hows of it, but it still doesn't take the symptom away and I feel like I'm in solitary confinement. I'm crying so hard right now from loneliness and fear of fear and confusion. Why can't I do something so normal that everyone else on the planet can do? What is WRONG WITH ME? hurting so bad. Please any feedback is more than welcomed. thanks so much, Cynthia
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04/11/2012 03:33 PM
kildare56
kildare56  
Posts: 4153
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

First, welcome here. I think one of the first steps is the one you are taking. You quickly discover that many people cannot do the same things you say you can't do. You are far from alone. It is very hard for family and friends to understand this. I never blamed anyone for that. It did help me see who the real friends were though.

The first rule of panic is that it will not harm you. The second is that you can learn to control it. Stay with your groups. Read the postings. Then get involved. It's much easier using a keyboard than a phone or in person. The effect of some of these groups will amaze you. I don't mean instant fixes, but I do mean you can improve faster than on your own and you will help others. Love you Cynthia.


04/11/2012 03:49 PM
ceggers68
ceggers68  
Posts: 12
Member

Thank you so much for your warm welcome - telling me that I'm not alone broke an emotional fever that's been running very very high. I'll definitely stay close to the group, I know that the shame of the phobia keeps me in a really painful place and I want that to be helped. love, C

04/12/2012 04:26 AM
kildare56
kildare56  
Posts: 4153
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Shocked That is one of the keys to the phobia. It thrives on shame. Shame feeds fear, fear feeds panic. There is no reason for shame at all. It is a medical condition. Do you feel shamed when you have a cold? Does that make you weak? Just because you're not coughing or blowing your nose doesn't mean you aren't sick. One advantage to this sickness though is that you can help treat it and so can we. It is always good to be checked by a doc to rule other things out. Then get either a shrink or a counselor. The shrink is best because you doc may not want to give you the meds you need. Please try not to be one of many that have to be talked into the meds. If they scare you, we will talk about that. You will do this because you have far more strength than you believe you do.

04/12/2012 05:06 AM
kildare56
kildare56  
Posts: 4153
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Have you joined the Raynaud's support group?
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