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04/28/2012 12:31 PM

anticipation anxiety

riz
 
Posts: 262
Member

Hi,

I have my friends sister's husband arriving tomorrow to my flat to give me a quote on painting some of my flat. Would do it myself but have neck and back probs)

Any way i don't know him that well and already 2 night the anxiety is starting to build, he will be arriving at 10.00am cause he knows i have to leave here for 11.30.

I know what i want thank god so i will tell him that and then ask for a price but i do feel i have to be really friendly as it is my friends sister's husband but what it I am anxious or depressed.

I don't know how I am going to manage when he is here for the week. i thought I will have to go out everyday but find it difficult to go out some days because i have ptsd and anxiety issues. will probably have to say I am not well and lock self in bedroom. That will feel strange too. why is this such a bloody issue.

Can anyone relate or have any tips

Thanx RizSad

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04/28/2012 06:34 PM
kildare56
kildare56  
Posts: 4178
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hi Riz. I know this is a very hard one for you. First and foremost, never yield the fact that you are the one who lives there. He may be whatever you said, but how far to that extreme do you go? During this project, he is not your friend's sister's husband. (I hope I got that right!) He is an employee who will expect to be paid for his work. As such, expect him to behave as an employee and do the job correctly and on time. This is why I don't mix business with other relationships. Your friend, her sister and her husband have absolutely no right to expect more. Should they do so, I would seriously question their friendship. So then,how to get through it. Do your best to pretend he is not there. Get the work related conversation out of the way, then expect him to stay out of your way as you keep away from him. Read, watch television, listen to music (through headphones if possible) and expect him to respect your space. If he doesn't, call the deal off. We are here for you. I know this is so hard.

04/29/2012 03:51 PM
riz
 
Posts: 262
Member

thanx so much Kildare. I agree it's not good to mix business with relationships and yes he is an employee and will be expect to be paid. You have made some good points Kildare. You are very smart.

In some ways it can be easier to just hire a stranger. But then I want to go out and wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a stranger in the flat.

It's a really tricky one for me because where I used to live I needed someon to do some gardening for me. The 1st guy I had a kept turning up on the wrong days and wrong times and did things in the garden I didn't ask him to do.

It wasn't till my neighbour mentioned that he was a drug addict. His excuses for not turning up on time was that his van got stolen and his tools got stolen too and that his wife was in hostpital.

The next guy was okay but then | saw him at the bus stop drinking heavly

The third guy I needed to fix my washing machine. long story but basically got ripped off and washing machine still didn't work

So as you can see havn't had much luck lol

Kind Regards

RizSmile


04/29/2012 05:41 PM
kildare56
kildare56  
Posts: 4178
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Thanks for the answer Riz. When I had a house and needed help with things, people either stuck to our agreement or I cancelled them and got someone who would. Sure it made a few upset, but I just said "don't expect to be treated like a professional until you act as one." I also prefer to pay once the job is completed to my satisfaction.

05/01/2012 02:40 PM
riz
 
Posts: 262
Member

interesting point Kildare making an agreement and sticking to it. and yes definately not paying until job is completed to your satisfaction.

I told him I would prefer a fixed price. He said he will work out the labour and give me a call with price and then it is up to me whether you want it or not.

I have also got to find a local plumber to move my radiator. so that will be my next task calling a few plumbers in area and try to see how much it will be and how long it will actually take.

I believe they charge by the hour so i want to know how long the job takes so i know how much it will be. I don't want to be ripped off.

Anyway hey ho Kildare a women's work is never done. Hope your having a good day and thanks for the good advice

Kind regards

RizSmile Smile Smile


05/01/2012 03:01 PM
kildare56
kildare56  
Posts: 4178
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Always Riz! Let me know how it goes, OK?
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