Sexual Abuse Support Group

I'm finally going to deal with my childhood. I have the determination to complete the workbook on sexually abused men and women. So far I love the book it helps you build a foundation before you have to go into the hard stuff. I'm so angry at my Dad for taking my innocence away. And I got no justice. He denies it to this day. He pretending he's changed but I know until he apologies to his family he hasn't changed. He destroyed my family and he got off scott free. It was a shameful secret. Until he got busted for sexually abuse a little girl and little boy. I hate him so much. Does anyone have any suggestions how to do this without anger in my heart?

taurus, I am definitely not the one to advise you on this one. All I can say is that I know how you feel. My uncle and cousin just totally screwed up my innocent little life and they didn't have to pay at all. No consequences, ever. They're both living their carefree lives. I just had to feel the anger and get through. But I did it with my therapist. She insisted that I feel and express it to her, in the safety of her office. Maybe that's what you need to do? I'm here for you. You can always PM me if you need to.

Anger towards our perps is normal. I don't think the anger ever goes away. It's always there. It gets easier with time to accept that they are assholes and that they have to live with what they did. I'm sorry you are so angry with this right now. Unfornately the anger needs to be felt and expressed in order to move forward. I journaled my anger out. I also write poetry and wrote a number of poems on how much I hated my perps. It helps to put things out on paper. Good Luck in your endevors.

Taurus. You should feel angry. That is normal. Therapy is the only way to control it. If not it just gets worse. And it will. My Innocence was taken away from me at the age of twelve. Me and my family also never found justice. Twelve years of my life are gone. I can't get them back. I there for had to start a new life. Through therapy i am doing ok today. I know this will always be with me. But i know it will not beat ME.

Scott

I am so sorry this happened to you and I know the anger you feel. Journaling is great and another way to get some of the anger out is to beat the hell out of your mattress imagine your perps face on it and then just start swinging and yell, cuss, what ever you feel let it out hon. The suggestion I got was to use a tennis racket on the mattress but any thing you can swing will work.

Talking about it is good also hon the more you talk about the abuse the easier it gets to let out the anger in you.

Hugs and know I am here if you need to talk, just pm me and I will give you my email address.

1magicman, Thank you for sharing with me. It must get easier and easier to tell your story. Or is it hard and gutwrenching every time you tell you story. I admire you.

The more people i tell the better i feel. I have kept it inside if me for so long it became extremely painful. I can't do that no more.

Scott

Tarus, another suggestion would be to finda cheap set of dishes, or glass/stone ware, (try second hand stores) and take them to the woods and throw them at a tree. With each one express one thing that you are angry about. imagine that the dish is the person or the thing that you are angry at. If you do not have much funds, you can do the same with water balloons. put some food coloring or water colors in them. Fill them up and toss them at the side of the house, or garage. It makesa a great peice of artwork and helps to get things out. If you have children, the later idea is great, as they can join in thinking it is fun. They never havve to know what your purpose is.Also you can take a hose and wash off the mess when you are done and over it all.

Brenda

Post edited by: bunnyfly, at: 03/19/2009 09:10

Thankyou everyone I feel better and you gave me some good suggestions. You know the pain stays with you always but I'm going to fight. Thereisn't a chance in hell he's going to win.I'm read The Courage to Heal and I will be doing the4 workbook for it, I've got a great therapist and For the first tgime I habe courage and peace.

I think for me what hurt the most was the betrayal that I felt towards my stepfather. We all realized that he had problems of different kinds, but for some reason the other adults just thought he talked about skanky stuff and threatened to rape me, but never acted on it. My mom was a survivor too, so I guess that her brain couldn't accept that it was happening again. I blocked the actual acts out until I was 31. I remember the threats of rape and the graphic comments after that, but only get flashes of the actual assaults. I have real trouble getting angry, even about this. My stepdad had a dual diagnosis and only self medicated, and I think that he had probably been molested as a child too. I'm not excusing what he did, but it helps me to understand that he was very sick. Maybe that's why I'm not angry anymore.