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03/18/2011 10:26 AM

My Intro (I'm new and nervous)

melissastl
 
Posts: 1
Member

Hi, my name is Melissa and I'm 27. I'm new to this whole website and really glad that I found it. I haven't found a lot of groups in my area for what I need really and I think I prefer the online forums anyhow. Anyway, I am bipolar w/anxiety disorder...as well as ptsd...and sexual abuse history. I see a psychiatrist who is absolutely amazing...and just started to re-visit a therapist as things have started to go downhill lately.

Right after I graduated high school...I went to a small gathering. I decided to leave bc there was marijuana and alcohol being used, at 18, I wasn't comfortable with it. I went around to the front of the house to my car...and one of the 17-year old stoned and drunk boys pushed me into my car...from behind and raped me. The worst part was that I was a virgin and that he admited he raped me afterwards and said he was sorry.

The whole thing really messed me up. I didn't go away to college. It's 10 years later...I'm still trying to finish college. I have yet to have a healthy relationship. I've had periods of promiscuity bc of this...not valuing my body. Abused alcohol and marijuana at times. I'm diagnosed bipolar, which kind of adds to things.

Right now, I do live alone...but my parents pretty much support me. I do pay for my phone, groceries, and gas, and personal needs. But, pretty embarassing for being 27. In college. I was working for almost a year but quit bc the retail job I was at got pretty bad but have an interview lined up...I started to slide recently...my doc has adjusted meds...seeing the therapist now.

So, that is my story...hoping to get to know you all.

Melissa

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03/18/2011 01:44 PM
maryandjimmie
maryandjimmie  
Posts: 1849
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Melissa welcome to the group, I want to say im sorry for what you been through but im glad you found the group. You will see were a very loving supportive group that is always here to give you support and comfort. You can also pm me anytime you would like. Please dont feel bad about you still needed your parents help they seem like loving people and understand what you are going through. We all experienced sexual abuse and deal with it in different way and we all heal at a different pace so just know that at what ever stage you are in thats okay to.

hugs mary


03/18/2011 02:15 PM
tntmom1027
tntmom1027Posts: 537
Member

hi Melissa, welcome. I'm 25 so not much younger than you. And just finishing college... like you I am bipolar/and dx with anxiety disorder and PTSD, among other things. I am not on meds(I've always been horrible about not taking anything) but thankfully I have a wonderful husband who keeps me stable.

Don't feel bad about relying on your parent's, you'll get there it just takes time. I too have been going downhill a bit lately and have thought about going back and seeing a therapist.

welcome.


03/20/2011 01:21 AM
hiall
hiall  
Posts: 1870
VIP Member

Welcome to the group melissastl. I am sorry about what happened to you. Your in a good place here. Take your time.

PM me anytime you want to talk,

Hiall

Post edited by: hiall, at: 03/20/2011 01:22 AM


04/16/2011 10:07 PM
karel6
karel6  
Posts: 1268
Senior Member

good to have you Melissa.

so sorry about what happened to you.

I am really glad you found MD and this group.

and that you can get some help for this.

I also like online groups. There are more of them than nearby.

It's easier, also, for me to email and chat.

I even had an online therapist for a while, but she disappeared.

Carol

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